Self-Loathing

No
What I mean is
I'm sorry 'cause
I can't help that
Feelings like these
Remind me of
All those things I can't forget
I know that's pathetic
But truly the only thing
I'm hangin' onto is disgust
I just can't believe
I mean I just can't
Help but feel ashamed
And this is old news
But it's like looking in the mirror
And still seeing all those things
You tried to make yourself be
All those things
That disgust you
Make you feel cheap
Feel unclean
Feel unworthy of happiness
And every time I find myself
Feeling flushed
Feeling out of breath
Feeling that way
Images resurface
And tell me that
I was sooo sick
It was sooo wrong
It wasn't me at all
I feel so ashamed that I
Let pieces of me be taken away
Just so I could try and
Shake the truth
Is there any virtue left?
Maybe...
But to me there's
None at all