it's all forgotten:
:and when my eyelids fluttered
the sharp line of your jaw
protruded into my view
i needed you to live and breathe
the first heartbreak
and i love you more
:bright orange made me swoon
like i didn't even have a clue
like i didn't even need anything else
the second heartbreak
was the hardest
so far
:coffee colored shiny black music
where i wanted to keep up the charade
the harsh syllables of your native language
remind of the deep roll of cellos
falling for you was like
floating from clouds
:wanted you to see me with your own eyes
like a deer in the headlights
i got lost in the brightness
Author notes
its about lost and gained loves.
i'm remembering and listening to them for a happy thing now.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
last stanza is real quality. truly dense great stuff. also "coffee colored shiny black music" is very much all about vinyl, or not at all, but whatever. it's awesome
as is "bright orange made me swoon"
you're good with colors
-
-
why thank you.
it's surprisingly not about vinyl. i had a huge crush on a mixed race german boy and we switched ipods for like a week to hear each other's musical taste. his was the shiny black ipod.
not as poetic once it's been explained.
as much as bright orange was the color of my first "real" boyfriend's hair. but yes... thank you so much!
-
-
this is fucking magnificent.
-
-
thank you so much!
-
-
oh my god I love that last stanza. this poem just got better and better as it went on (something I'm really working on- mine just kind of flicker out sometimes). It builds up and up and then that last stanza sums everything you said up with that wistful tone (you have an amazingly appropriate name for your style of writing).
Reading your poetry makes me want to like, sigh with you. There's just this fragil, retrospective sort of quality to your poetry that's both beautiful and tragic all at once. Like staring at the broken shards of an old stained glass window. Your don't exactly know what the picture was, or how it came to break, but there's still this beauty to it.
Gah I'm sorry I've read a few of your poems by now and I guess this was my lame/ failed way to explain that.
-
lovely
excellent... the bit about the colour orange making you swoon..
-
:coffee colored shiny black music
where i wanted to keep up the charade
the harsh syllables of your native language
remind of the deep roll of cellos
falling for you was like
floating from clouds
love that and the last lines.
oh, honey.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
