I called to you,
but all i heard was death.
I traced these streets in acid rain
looking to drown
but all i found
was invisible burns on my skin;
the greatest evidence of the retribution
given to atone for my sins.
And i understand this lack of forgiveness
from you is merely the boils caused by me,
a plague upon worlds and all she loves.
I desecrated the temple without ever stepping inside.
Author notes
pic 3
A contest entry
- Rain, Eyes, and Pain Quickie by takemypainaway.
900 points, ended June 26, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
No specific question, just what you think: good or bad.
Comments
-
This is a vivid and powerful poem. Great imagery and some very wonderfully precise diction. Great job.
-
This was a lovely poem and very nice to read!!
the flow was good as well my fav part was
"was invisible burns on my skin;
the greatest evidence of the retribution
given to atone for my sins."
thank you for entering
**KAT
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