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Trepidation and Tireless Tears



 


Inbetween two places and nowhere near the right place;

somewhere, in the distance a bird cries and babies coo,

only the distant rumbles of thunder fuel me to move

locate myself to another place, somewhere without you.
Against bitter winds and sleet, I stand alone and fearful -

trepidation-I tremble as the tide comes in, I'm bleeding

inside out and outside in, tears are my only form of closure;

only squirrels seek me, with nut nibbling urgency and only

nameless faces ask me for the time, as I wonder the world alone.

Author notes

I hope you like.
I kinda liked this one.
x


Midnight-x-Rose

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    July 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    love the imagery and ohrasing within this piece. the way you have captured the picture and placed your thoughts within the words is amazing it has a haunting effect to it which speaks and left shivers upon my spine yet really added life to the picture. well done you are being marked out of 10

    cinfullydelicous- 9/10
    me- 9/10


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    -I tremble as the tide comes in, I'm bleeding

    inside out and outside in, tears are my only form of closure;

    I kinda like this one too heheh

    love where you took the pic, you did a lot with it..haunting imagery darl, good work


    Good luck


    Cind's


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    mmm...I like this one too. I love the beautiful, sort of half-peacefulness that comes through, even though it seems kind of sad...but no one is ever truly alone, in my humble opinon....

    Thank you so much for sharing this, and for taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • Tattboyspet
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can completely see why you liked this one
    It complements the image to such a degree that it ups the pictures game and brings it to another level!
    Loneliness, sorrow and that forgotten feeling ooze through each word - this is a truly amazing write and I enjoyed it thoroughly!
    well done!


  • LadyDementia gold member
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Some great metaphors here, love the imagery and feelings portrayed. Beautifully penned, good luck


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you know i love this i mean that you did a wonderful job capturing me, now i do have one question, can i have the keys to the handcuffs that tie me to this poem, lol, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • Tangled Angle
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I'm bleeding inside out and outside in," kind of cliche.
    other than that i thought this was profound. the squirrel metaphor was probably one of the most original metaphors i've seen all week.

    "only the distant rumbles of thunder fuel me to move"
    love it,
    it's a simple idea -
    but i've always found the concept of thunder very powerful.


  • Kiss the girl--x
    June 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, and I love the new puttycat picture

  • Kiss the girl--x
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'locate myself to another place, somewhere without you.'

    I love that line, it stood out to me all amongst your other words of amazingness

    Hope you're doing okie sweetie
    loves.

1 - 9 of 9