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dreamer

 

 

precious, I have carried safe,
the salt of your renaissance mouth
white within red velvet

pocketed bright flowers  
grown weightless on your tongue
less careful and without
remorse these eyes have seen

I could tithe in this delta
a moment behind
though advantaged as air
heavy sea

your sister sun, the yellow moon
has brought up a rainbow
too distant

but whisper my dreamer that I
love it still
threadbare and iridescent
a little wish inside

sometimes when it rains
silence dissolves into water
in addition the emptiness fills
becoming a spoonful
of dazzling aerial swallows

each wing in the heavens
comes complete with song
the firefly, bluebottle, wasp
cicadas -- their violins

it is a sphere you see
an ocean of visible stars
and mythical heroes
and changeable ions afloat

hold the lifeline tight
let us come to be
the beat by beat and motion
of sentimental skin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

dedicated to apples fell

and a direct response to godiva his dedication to me

 

thank you..  

 

 I changed my submission yes, because the other doesn't really show what I wanted it to

 

Member since April 19, 2003. 

Names since

 

Whims, L.Emery-Bennett,Sithlelisa,AlmostMe == present - ArtfullyMe 

 

 

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 45 of 45

  • poetryality silver member
    September 1
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    "each wing in the heavens
    comes complete with song
    the firefly, bluebottle, wasp
    cicadas -- their violins"


    What a symphony! Very lovely words dear sister. If I were to receive a "dedication" such as this, I would read it for my daily bread. What a beautiful testament of friendship, and adoration. Your language usage is superb! The poem itself, is quite outstanding! Simply exceptional and I am in no way surprised. I have been reading your poetry for years and have always left your pages with a smile on my face and goose bumps. I still do. LOL

    Thank you for this entry and I wish you the best in the contest.


    Much Love,

    Renee

  • Lucy. gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Dear me, I've clicked on the wrong one....this is too much for my head today, lol.

    Sounds perfect for apples though!

    Anyway, this is the last thing you've written and it's nearly a month ago....so....write more!


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    Damn girl, I just read James one and now I come here and to say you two sizzle together would be a gross understatement. Loved it. Love, Chez

  • great


  • sugarskulls
    June 30
    Edit | Reply
    wow.


  • CaliOkie silver member
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is beyond my words. Your words exist in a place high above anything I could say about them. This knocked the wind out of me and left me pale and weak. I am in awe. I am stunned.

    Magic, pure and simple.

    Garrison


  • NurseChilly gold member
    June 28
    Edit | Reply
    gosh... i missed this!! damn
    tis beautiful.. most beautiful!!! sigh

  • Exploding.

    Lol. I can hear even raw apples fall.
    Congrats.
    I would say you are sharp accurate and to the point.
    In short, Lovely considering ‘Godiva’.
    God bless you both.

  • Liza

    Is there a more truthful, beautiful word we can hope to utter than the word "sometimes"?

    Why, "sometimes", "always" takes front seat,
    And "ever and ever" merely spell deceit;
    It's all we really have that's mete;

    Sometimes.

    Liza...nice poem!!!

    In Spanish:
    Sueños...dreams at night in sleep
    Ensueños...daydreams

    Speaking of which, good Night

    John






  • The comments below are a regular hugfest. Thems the ways of dreamers.

    Apparently it was a humdinger of a dedication because it produced a beautiful, lilting, allusive work. I won't pretend to really get it, beyond the kinship of souls part and the images of magic realism which give it that feeling of verity despite the pathetic fallacies.

    This is as close to imps and fairies as I think I'll ever see you write. Though if you were me you'd now go and prove me wrong.

    A simple, "Beautiful" would have sufficed for a comment, but it wouldn't have been me.


  • apples fell gold member
    June 25

    Edit | Reply

    I have now added the direct link from "godiva" to this. That way people who come to me can find your work easier as well.

  • apples fell gold member
    June 25
    Edit | Reply

    Still making me...

    It's so....

    .

  • myrataal silver member
    June 24

    Edit | Reply

    The beautiful ...

    and artful expressions of a visual dreamer.

    This poem sings.
    Simply divine.

    Myra


  • loschung
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    "hold the lifeline tight
    let us come to be
    the beat by beat and motion
    of sentimental skin"

    Utterly beautiful, Liza. Especially your final stanza, a masterpiece ending. As always your language and grace are strong and carry an impact like a megaton bomb.

    The way you meld images together is so dazzling. An interpretation of true imaginary gold.

    Not a wasted word among the entire lot.

    . Rewarded 8


    • ArtFullyMe gold member
      June 24
      Edit | Reply

      thank you ...

      the inspiration was incredibly compelling... I only hoped to come close..




  • B2oH silver member
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    Worlds within worlds wrapped with a warmth of sharing. Each vision meeting at the horizon spanned by every color in the rainbow, there, where the water meets sky.

    This is superb in the richness of the vocabularly and imagery -- a classical graceful musing of a most rare salt, indeed.

    An offering...of emotions..I think that sets this apart from most...the gentle winds of true open-ness.

    Superb. Poetry indeed.

    . Rewarded 8


  • jantastic gold member
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    I nearly read Godiva earlier, not knowing it was a dedication... just seeing it, but work, all that, you know. I like to be able to concentrate when I read certain people.

    That of course has nothing to do with this, I will just say, that of which we "spoke" earlier, I understand the reaction and isn't that a wonderful feeling? There is something "extra" or "different" here. And you know I admire and respect your work in general. I was going to ask if I was still making any sense, but I know you know...

    . Rewarded 8


    • ArtFullyMe gold member
      June 24
      Edit | Reply

      you are...

      I do,
      and same with yours, that last one. ..
      it's that 'thing' ...I think..


  • apples fell gold member
    June 24
    Edit | Reply

    Oh you!!!

    ...............

    Obviously I can't comment correctly on this.
    It is beautiful. You are lovely. Poetry becomes us
    and then we are poetry, again.



    And I have to say the same thing. Never mind bookmarked. I'm printing this out.

    . Rewarded 6


    • ArtFullyMe gold member
      June 24
      Edit | Reply
      about poetry becoming us not me, oh I think you know what I mean..lol


      • apples fell gold member
        June 24
        Edit | Reply

        Of course I know what you are saying.
        Thank you for being my friend...That is the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for. You will now find parts of this amazing piece of writing on my page and in my "poetry from other people" list. Not only that, but I am going to share this with Kenny when he is around and my mother, who can appreciate poetry to some extent. Words don't do the poem justice. I repeat myself, but thank you. Thank you!


        • ArtFullyMe gold member
          June 24
          Edit | Reply

          Thank you for being mine.... I've kind of lacked in that area most of my life, so well... one doesn't overlook certain things.. as you know..

          Telling me you want to share it is the greatest gift beyond your friendship that you could possibly give, but remember it couldn't exist without you....




          • apples fell gold member
            June 24
            Edit | Reply

            Thank you again.
            My lovely poet friend.

          • apples fell gold member
            June 24
            Edit | Reply

            Friends are few and far between in my life too...I have Kenny, Gillian (NurseChilly), Kevin (chaotic peace), Sol (Thoughts-of-Soloman)...A few other close people whom I have come to love, all in different ways. And now, over the past couple of weeks, you Liza. Not that the other people on this site our not my friends either, but you guys feel the closest to me. I have formed a connection with you and them. And Kenny...Well Kenny needs no explanation.

            • ArtFullyMe gold member
              June 24
              Edit | Reply
              yes.. there always those few who carry something different..

              I am close to some here as well.. and we share at least one on that list



              • apples fell gold member
                June 24
                Edit | Reply

                Of course we do.
                Oh and of course Nicolette. I've known her for the longest time. Yes. Connections are rare, so when they are around, it is lovely to just click.



    • ArtFullyMe gold member
      June 24

      Edit | Reply



      yes I'd have to agree with you
      and who could ask for anything more?

      thank you ever....so much...





  • Dorick
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    I hate being the stupid commentor, but would you mind explaining more of what this poem is about, please?

    • ArtFullyMe gold member
      June 24
      Edit | Reply

      First I think, you'd have to share where you got lost.. and I don't recall where it's written that asking is stupid. do you?


      • Dorick
        June 24
        Edit | Reply
        Well I'm not sure. The title is dreamer, but the actual build of the poem seems to be strictly imagery, a lot of pretty imagery, but I'm not getting the point of it.

        • ArtFullyMe gold member
          June 24
          Edit | Reply

          Yes, and as it's a response to another write, perhaps there isn't something to hang onto in it. It's a wish for something other than what can be directly seen, perhaps I could say, for a freedom.

          Thanks for your comment.. and asking though I doubt my explanation will be of much help.

  • Cat gold member
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    stunning-

    i despise your talent..

    m

  • extraordinary. rich, vibrant layerings of image, in singing words.

    a great poem


  • Nicolette gold member
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful - wonderful images, so rich in voice, imagery and motion this one is. Loved it.

    ~ Nicolette


  • monimac
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful - the tone, the flow, the images.. all beautiful!

    Thanks for sharing.
    Stacy


  • ...and you complain that you can't write poetry


    • B2oH silver member
      June 24
      Edit | Reply
      Ah...she complains that she can't write what she 'feels' completely...completely capture the vision...the myriad colors and polyphonic sound. Her poetry is not ours.

      Thank god...else we would all be struck blind & dumb. Eh?


      • well yeah she wants it all
        her poetry, ours, theirs
        and when all is gathered in one huge cake,
        she would like a lyrical alien cherry on top...

        then she would look at the cherry wondering
        hmmm is that genuine?
        and the cherry would reply "yes I am"
        and she would respond "I DON'T HEAR YA!"

        • B2oH silver member
          June 25
          Edit | Reply
          LOL

          Not all things, just what She can do

  • AJ Morelli gold member
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    sensuous and beautiful, full of delicately placed imagery...

    i love the closing stanza especially


    al

1 - 45 of 45