When the darkness comes to me,
Embraced with seething rage.
Intense, neurotic daydreams creep
Within this mortal cage.
Feed delusion’s waiting grasp,
And quell this passing dread.
Show me futures yet untold,
As truth within my head.
Show me souls beyond my time,
Colliding in the void.
Whisper words for me to write,
That leave me overjoyed.
Delude me with a thousand tales,
Embrace my fractured mind.
Seduce me with your fatal charms,
And see what we can find.
Overwhelmed and un-fulfilled,
I rise and face the day.
Scribe the thoughts within my mind,
As voices fade away.
Wear my mask to greet the world,
And wait, my mind at war.
For when the darkness deep inside,
Shall rise again once more.
Author notes
DARK...
In a list
A contest entry
- The Politics Of Damage by Redrusty66.
800 points, ended December 16, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - only rhyme here :] by Ami.
550 points, ended April 17, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Nice write, excellent flow and meter and great dark subject matter. Great vocabulary usage and construction. You left ample room for reader interpretion and personal perspective. I was intrigued and it held my attention throughout Thanks for the great read!
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If you were in Star Wars you would be Darth Vader - truly the Master of The Dark Side.
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You pen the darkness so well! This is a superb write, such powerful imagery...I got quite lost in your words for a while here
An excellent read as ever 
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Wicked
I liked this poem a lot. Great form, great imagery, metaphors, all very well done. Great write and good luck in the contest
~*~Suicide Blonde
***1/2 -
Amazing...love the dark mystery of this write.
Show me souls beyond my time,
Colliding in the void.
Whisper words for me to write,
That leave me overjoyed.
Delude me with a thousand tales,
Embrace my fractured mind.
Seduce me with your fatal charms,
And see what we can find.
This I understand and feel so deeply.
Always a pleasure to read you!
Az
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I liked this alot. It flowed very nicely and I liked the rhyme. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
Vampy -
The darkness never goes away does it?
The evil is always there to play.
Good work once again. -
one of my favourites, keep it up
thanks and good luck -
Wow what an amazing write!! I suffer from Night Terrors and I could so relate to your wonderful write. I at times I don't know if I am dreaming or in reality. Amazing write thanks for sharing my friend. Theresa
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Felt it to my soul
My girlfriend is schizophrenic, and I am bipolar, we make an interesting pair, so my writing is mostly dark. I understand the last par. the most. People hardly ever understand you. Scribe the thoughts was the a great line.
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Whew - that was amazing. I do believe I experience what you describe here, but to a lesser degree. It is very intense. I often think that my world of dreams is so very real, that they are parallel lives that I am living in other dimensions, times and spaces. My only question is this; is it really a delusion. Physics is discovering more fantastic things all the time. Maybe we are just not meant to be that aware.
It's like many different roles, or masks, that we wear.
You expressed yourself very nicely here and with such powerful imagery. Thank you for sharing! -
This is so masterfully written I was in awe. great work with this as a fellow SZ I can empathise totally great poem xx
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This is outstanding
'whisper words for me to write"
'mortal cage' and 'delusions waiting grasp'
some of the lines that struck me...
*bows slightly in awe'
I love this!
~Pastel
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Excelent
O How I Love The Dard Side Of Your Thoughts!
Great read my man.As a matter of fact,,,,,,I feel right at home with this read.You Dark Sided musician buddy Laurel
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Great
This write makes me think. Your rhyme flow and fit very well. I like the line."I rise and face the day Scribe the thoughts within my mind. As voices fade away." Sound s like someone depressed and the vocies fade away because the person doesn't listen to the voices any more.
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deep dark like the calm still rageing waters of the black sea
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