I pale in thy wondrous beauty,
my beloved Angel.
I hath not forsaken thee, nor would I.
Thy words, bring great solace
and comfort to my tortured soul.
But alas, these precious moments dissipate
into the ether, cherished and fading…
Mine heart breaks for thee,
My soul aches for thee,
My dreams spake of thee.
Today the king falls and humbles,
fearful in the darkness.
So desperate, so alone, so broken…
And so the madness beckons seductively.
Illusion blinds mine eyes,
Rage darkens my soul,
Eternity taunts my very essence.
Torn asunder, I bleed’eth my sanity,
into a void of orphean dreams.
Grasping for light amidst darkest thoughts,
ascending time and perception.
What was, is and could be
dilutes into despair amidst a sea of sorrows.
Nevermore may I dare to dream
of thy touch upon my skin.
Thine soulful eyes, nor thy lips
enflamed in our first passioned kiss.
But alas, I shalt always hold thee in great adoration…
Forgive me, my love…
Fore this is not of my choosing.
Darker forces conspire to usurp my mortal mind,
condemning my soul to living death.
Remember me as I am
and not the stranger I may become…
A soulless, empty shadow of former glory…
And if this truly is normality,
then I find I have no taste for it…
In a list
A contest entry
- Don't You, Forget About Me by Poetic Obscenity.
550 points, ended August 6, 2008, 79 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darke-hearte. by Dragonmind.
700 points, ended November 14, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - New! Truly Original Poetry Wanted :) by Oleander.
540 points, ended December 6, 2008, 47 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Freedom, come to me! - - - (Depressive/Sad/Dark) by Ebbing.X.Discreetly.
700 points, ended December 28, 2008, 57 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Olde Fashioned Love by Titus.
1400 points, ended December 30, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Dark Dark by xXLifelessLindseyxX.
700 points, ended February 24, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Hearts, Lost Dreams (Tear Jerkers, Only) by liquidmindforever.
400 points, ended October 2, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2 prewrites a poet, you know you want to enter ^.^ by Kathraina.
800 points, ended October 16, 157 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness Enriched by Maili Knephthan.
700 points, ended November 23, 43 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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I have been on here so little lately and can't seem to write a word myself but I am so glad I stopped by and read this one Fritz. You are so darn good at the real heavy stuff and the Olde English has captured the mood beautifully. Take care, power to your pen and rock on Babe.
Mumsie
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amazing poem dude..
as always....fantastic story
...
loved all of this poem,
but this bit did im afraid make me chuckle softly.....
And if this truly is normality,
then I find I have no taste for it…
i hope your a hard bastard my brother,coz
i tink Holtz is just around the corner straight out of kortoff!!!!!
a great poem dude and the picture is amazing!
love
Jayde
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"Mine heart breaks for thee,
My soul aches for thee,
My dreams spake of thee.
Today the king falls and humbles,
fearful in the darkness.
So desperate, so alone, so broken…
And so the madness beckons seductively."
I love this stanza. It is beautifully dark. You have done a very good job on this piece. Thank you for sharing and Thank you for entering. -
Wow, spectacular write!
I love the imagery and flow of this piece. Theres a day-of-old tone to it that i absolutely love!
bravo and thank you for entering
♥ kate -
Beautifully Crafted
Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering my contest:"Broken Hearts, Lost Dreams" with your
submission "Remember Me, My Love."
Words could only shadow and fall short. Suffice to say...I feel this.
Thank you for sharing fearless ink with your work, Fritz.
Welcome to the finalists
always wishing you in all ways the best
till then
stay
liquid
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I have to admit that tou hast good taste in thou's art as well as the write itself..thou write'st of such wonderful things and shows us a truer meaning of beauty and knowledge than that of what we already know..
thy simply up-holdst thou writes and thou as well.. may the world bare more of those like thee and I..
*smiles and curtsies*
good day, kind sir..
and keep writing i hope thou will'ST
Sarah
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I really felt the words coming off the page and into my hearts in this piece. It almost brought tears to my eyes as well. Excellent write.
-Sry if my comment isn't as profound as you would like- -
This composition has quite a few unique one liners that could win any contest on its merits.
'I pale in thy wondrous beauty', wow, that first line has outdone mine, and amongst those which can do more bad than good, you have got somegreat one liniers. The secret is, you need to selct youtr best ones and hey. wow? this is not a critique, but more a preservation, or the classical nature. "into the ether, cherished and fading…" and, "And so the madness beckons seductively.", see what I mean? Lovely words.
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'What was, is and could be
dilutes into despair amidst a sea of sorrows.
Nevermore may I dare to dream
of thy touch upon my skin.
Thine soulful eyes, nor thy lips
enflamed in our first passioned kiss.
But alas, I shalt always hold thee in great adoration…'
Absolutely stunning write. Bravo!
Mariana
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Lovely! Wow, it was really amazing, I must say! Well done. Something I wasn't expecting but you dealt with my prompt in a very interesting manner. The flow is exceptional as so is your use of old english. Gosh, spectacular!
Keep it up and thanks so much for entering! Loved it!! =]
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This is a wonderful poem, full of hopelessness and despair yet the love shines beautifully through it all. Great stuff. sj
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I truly loved this poem. It speaks to me in so many ways. Good work!
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Truly heart-breaking!
Wow, this almost brought a tear to my eye as I read.....
So beautiful, so heart-felt and tender, yet so full of pain and anguish. Two emotions balanced beautifully.
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Nice. Very deep, beautiful imagery. I can but imagine what you were going through when you wrote this. The words were carefully chosen. The darkness permeates through each line and each stanza. I can feel the love, the sadness. Beautifully written.
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Love in darkness, moving forward looking back
Missing the longed for touch so clearly written
DEEP in thoughts
Best wishes and thank you for sharing your beautiful poem
Julie
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Killer
I liked this poem a lot. Actually, I liked the picture a lot too, that was wicked. I loved the word play you used, it seemed almost Poe-ish. My favorite part was the line
"into a void of orphean dreams."
Great write and good luck in the contest
~*~Suicide Blonde
****
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Fantastic bit of yearning here! A farewell that speaks of hope for reaquainting!
"What was, is and could be
dilutes into despair amidst a sea of sorrows."
Such a great line!! Ahhh.. when dreams begin to submerge!!
The whole thing is wonderful.. and the ending is perfect!
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This really tugs as you read, the sorrow is laced in every line you have penned. Truly an outstanding piece. The imagery of being plunged into despair and trapped there is so vivid and overwhelming. The olde English is just divine to read, really a fantastic piece
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WOW!!! This is excellent!!! All your words and stanzas are so perfectly well written!!! I love your word choice!!! This is way too good for any comment I could give you!!! So I will just say its FABULOUS,FANTASTIC, AND WAY TOO GOOD FOR MY WORDS TO EXPRESS!!! I LOVE IT!!!
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This is so very beautiful. Thank you so much for entering and best of luck!
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Gloriously tragic! I felt like I opened a book of old poetry and began to read. So completely moving are the words of love and loss here. I drank this in like a fine wine...thanks for sharing my friend!
Blessed Be~
Az
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nice piece, thanks for your entry
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Beautiful language in this.. reminds me of one of Shakespeare's poems. Lovely write!
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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WOW This leaves me near speachless. I love your wording and the old romantic talk. It leaves my heart thumping heavily. You've written a very well flowed piece with rhythem to die for. Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. Welcome to the finalists round.
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Well written!
Wow! I really loved this! Thanks for entering!
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this is truly poignant and lovely at the same time, and speaks of regret, heartache, and love lost, all at the same time. I love your wording and emotion expressed here. beautiful write.
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the language i love
if for no other reason, i must admit, this style of english is my favorite. it is so deep and earnest and at the same time, intelligent.
beyond that... i love the imagery created by this poem. it is sweet heartfelt and bold at the same time.
very nice work friend. i hope you are given the chance to reach out to the person you are missing, my guess is that if they have any sense all will be well.
best wishes! -
I could project so many of my own feelings into this. Brilliant but sad write. When I read you Author's Notes, I understood exactly where you are coming from.
Thank you for sharing this. -
I can really appreciate having to take meds. I needed to do it for a while and I am still very med resistant. But I have learned to take them when I need them.
I see in your writing how much you long for and miss this person. How deeply the pain runs.
You use very powerful imagery here.
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Ohhh what a heartfelt and so full of pain write. You are in my thoughts and prayers I hope things get better. Theresa
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This is so heart-breaking
and so beautiful at the same time.
I felt every word ; every line
laced with the emotion
of all your works--
reading you is more than a few
well placed words--It's an experience.
Thank you for sharing !
~Pastel
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