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re-winded

The other day I found the time
To walk down memory lane alone

Reminiscing all that once was there
Laughed and cried at past reflections

I took the path,the one we shared
The simple pleasures of holding hands

I saw us together in every scene
The you and me that we had been

With out a stumble or missed step
I found my way through all the mist

And as I finally reached the end
A sight I saw that caught my breath

Down the slope not a foot away
Gracing the sand a stone heart laid

 

So perfected in-line and in tuned

Lapping the waves of the seas perfume 

 

Right then, right there its almost as if

Time stood still.......................

                               and rewound a piece of you

 

 

 

Author notes

pic credit to Rianna Bear

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Weetzie bat
    July 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it's cute, and i love the message and the imagery. thank you for entering

  • deleteduser
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, wow! This sent shivers through my body. What a display of poetry. You tried to rhyme at first but your thoughts were more important than trying to rhyme. The only suggestion I have, I didn't think it propper to say "time stopped still" but if you had every intention of using your words that way then so be it. I just wanted to hint at time stood still...even though that has been frequently used I've felt that feeling before. The very last line sent the chills...and rewound a piece of you.
    Great write, keep that pen inkin

  • evelynxxoo
    July 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you words come with an easy flow that makes each line totaly believeable i a great write


  • satan-
    July 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love the imagery in this poem, and how it's subtlety adds to the overall impact of your words. Hm, the only thing I want to mention is the title...I'm not sure 're-winded' is a word, but I s'pose it does go well with the poem, and it probably has meaning with you personally. Who am I to judge your values? Anyways, lovely poem! Thanks a bunch for entering!


  • Sound of Madness
    July 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This previously won a trophy, so I shall remove it from my contest.


  • GypsyEyes
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i loved all the imagery in this piece! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox


  • SEA angel gold member
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Update

    Since I missed typo "missed" and "slope" too. I'm going to go on and give you silver because I know this poem is special to you and you'll correct next time you're online. I live in Typo City so like I TOTALLY understand. See, I even make typos reading as I didn't even catch those myself. Life happens just like typos. By God's design so we keep in touch... both literally and figuratively speaking.

  • SEA angel gold member
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent...

    So excellent I'm hesitant to bring up one glitch in flow right at very beginning. I'd have "And walked" or "To walk" I think I like "To walk" best. What do you think? Your poem. Beyond that slight glitch in flow looks publishable good. Well done. WOW! I'm getting better entries than when I don't run a prewrite.


  • hey charlie
    June 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ugh...

    I can't really say that I'm okay with the crap-ton of mistakes in this poem. I know I wouldn't be caught dead with a messed up poem like this. It would be so much better if you'd take the time to review it and fix your mistakes. Thanks for entering, yo.


  • Ryno
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    _No_ Creativity / Originality
    _No_ Imagery
    _Yes_ Metaphor
    _Yes_ Emotion
    _No_ Reaction
    _Yes_ Relatability
    _No_ Fluency
    _No_ Powerful Beginning
    _No_ Powerful Middle
    _No_ Powerful Ending
    _Yes_ Connecting Ideas
    _No_ Interesting Idea Behind Piece and/or a Message Behind Piece
    _No_ Interesting In General (Does Not Bore)


  • Angelflower
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was wonderful!!! the imagery was so sad at first yet in the end it was ok.. Like you had come to terms with your "loss".. I really loved the rhyme too.. You did a wonderful job.. Thank you very much for sharing.. I really enjoyed reading this.. best of luck...




    Angel


  • Beauty Of Silence
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    omgosh!

    this simple blew.me.away! i'm speechless... but i'll say something, this was brilliant and i love it so much!

    AWESOME!!!


  • Calentice
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful piece. You captured a moment in time there good luck in the contest


  • SomethingPoetic
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i liked it, i think it had potential to be so much more


  • sophia moonfairy
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great poem I really enjoy reading this it has alot of emotion its very beautiful and has great images I wish you good luck in the contest


  • maralisa silver member
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow some beautiful images painted within your words sometimes when we are in the moment of time it is so beautiful and we need to do this more often to take in the perfeck pictures of natures love beautiful the following words were beautiful
    Gracing the sand's a stone heart laid So perfected in-line and in tuned Lapping the waves of the seas perfume Right then, right there its almost as if Time stopped still.......................and rewound a piece of you good luck in the contest

1 - 16 of 16