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Broken, Shattered Heart

 

This is why I can't believe I cared,
simply because you are unbelievable.
You aren't making it worse for you,
you are making it even harder for me

to forget you.

How is it that, you can abandon
what we have and still say you "love me"?
That you can't live without me,
when clearly you can.
I thought you were going to prove to me
that all guys are different.
But you sure had me fooled.
I would wake up and go to bed, crying,
and you were the last thing on my mind.
Now, I can't stop thinking about you,
solely because you shattered my heart.

You were my love, and I cherished it.
You were all my dreams, and I got to live them.
Slowly, but surely, you became the Prince Charming
I never thought would arrive,

~ or so I thought ~

Now...

You are my disease, and I am in need of a cure.
You are all my nightmares,

and I sleep with all the lights on and an open door.
You were never Prince Charming,

just a sly Cassanova with a pretty face.

I wish I never met you.
And darling, you're going to wish

you'd never met me.

 

Author notes

Lowercase Prelude
"Live, laugh, love, & eventually cry"

Option 11::_
Hate. what do you hate, why do you hate it, do people hate you? that kinda thing. I don't want any stereotypes, sexist bits, or racial discrimination. you get DQ'd for it.

Prompt: "I loved you like nothing could ever be lost. I gave you my heart without a price or a cost. The mistake i made when i thought it was true..was sayin three words "I Love you."

5. Write about being heartbroken. This one has to be deep.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Sortingthroughlife
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful job, simply amazing.


  • TearsYouBleed
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely amazing. I can relate 100%. You have serious talent for the pen, keep it up! I wish you the best of luck in the contest. You have extreme potential.

    ♫
    ~Lixi


  • HopeInForever
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ah this is beautiful. words can't even describe. i love it.


  • WordsAndWits
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write! Congrats on those other Bronze Wins. Good luck in my contest and thanks for entering!!


  • Baisi
    November 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is great.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good poem, congratulations on your two bronze wins. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • LOVELYmurder
    September 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write. I can feel the anger rolling off the page. Good job and good luck in the contest.


  • Soten-Jaganshi
    September 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is fabuluos. So much so i have little to say. XD

    Welcome to the finalists!


  • God is my reality
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. This is different. I like it. It's something different than I have read. It's good and Good luck in my contest


  • Brit-Girl
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the sharp bitterness in this poem. the thoughts are relatable and the last few lines really boiled with hidden rage.
    thanks for your entry!


  • Diamond Butterfly
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!

    Strong poetry.. it really spoke to me and I really related to it!!

    Good luck in contest!! x


  • movedon
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And once again, remind me to NEVER get on your bad side! This is a very open and heartfelt poem. I enjoyed how you're aware you're hurting and you see the cause of the pain, yet you still stand up for yourself. The last stanza made me a lil scared!

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    July 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!

    Boy have i been in your shoes!
    Great write you have here.

    Gl in contest
    -Mandi


  • Lyrical Rain
    July 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is another way I feel. This was really on point. I truly loved this poem

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    To me this reads more as a strong of cohesive thoughts. You are telling me what you would like me to know instead of showing me.

    More imagery, less filler. Let the reader figure it out. Your emotion is consistent and the foundation good, would love to see this stand a bit more strongly


  • PoetryDove
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm baffled by your words, definitely.
    I dont' know what it is about them, but you've just said everything I've ever felt about that stupid and sly cassanova with a pretty face.
    You said it all.

    I love the pain behind each and every word. There is regret felt by you, but you are sure to make the person's life a living hell (well, in the nicest way possible, of course ) That's what I saw in the last two lines.
    "I wish I never met you
    You're gonna wish you'd never met me"

    It's funny how something you've loved so much can change in an instant. Guys (even girls when it comes to a boy's case..) can tell you everything you want to hear, but only half of it is true. Someday there's going to be a person who will say everything right and do everything right and you know it's "the one." Others, you just get a false feeling of hope and lust, then in a second they can take everything they've said back like they never even spoke those words.
    Liars, I say. Liars

    You did great with this.
    In the start of the 2nd stanza, I don't think you needed the comma after the "how is that." I can see why you put it there, but I don't think it's needed.
    "How is it that, you can abandon
    what we have and still say you "love me"?"

    You didn't use any profound amazing and fantastical way of portraying your feelings. You just made this real. I loved that about this write.

    Thank you for entering my contest!
    Sincerely,
    dovey ~




  • sailor ptolema
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    HOOD-WINKED!!!


    You are my disease, and I am in need of a cure
    You are all my nightmares, and I sleep with all the lights on
    and an open door
    You were never Prince Charming, just a sly Cassanova with a pretty face
    >>>>>
    love your phrasing,....so vengeful! the bitterness just spits from these words!!!


    a great write!

    ~write on sweet poet!

    Sailor Ptolema


  • GypsyEyes
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    truly i love the format of this piece! great job! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox

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