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Oh, Gloria

Oh, Gloria
here's a letter, half-burnt
thought I had...
well,
thrown it away

But here it is
all yellowed and confused
a little bit of me
for
that bigger piece of you

Just wanted love
from you
guess I am explaining
the letter I just gave to you
already screwing it up

What do I want?
simple answer, are you ready?
    go away
leave me in pieces
because you'll never
ever
put me back together again



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Comments


  • Naridill gold member
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Last line - 'me' not 'be'?

    I felt this more as a letter but the format took a lot away. The mood sets the tone very emotional and I just felt more imagery could have brought the poetism up a little.