i.
The stark reality
of my deafness
in a hearing world
is that I have lived
most of my life
without the benefit
of warning.
ii.
All I have to do
is close my eyes
and the world dies
like a pinched flame
on a candle wick.
iii.
My heartbeat falls
onto cobblestone
in rhythm
with the human race,
and I become
a part of the crowd.
Author notes
Prompt: Lock and Load
In a list
A contest entry
- Lock and load by zochit2me.
900 points, ended July 9, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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The first stanza has such feeling...the second such brilliance...the entire poem such power...it's no wonder you got gold! Just...wow.
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First class.
A fine piece from top to bottom but that second verse just stuns.
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Great style. Descriptive, nice flow. Tight.
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Very Touching
"All I have to do
is close my eyes
and the world dies
like a pinched flame
on a candle wick"
This is beautifully written. Good luck.
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Your words touch me; your simple beauty is haunting. *sigh* all the best in the contest Lane.
Love and peace always,
mj.
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Your words speak louder than any human voice can...beautifully
Love
Sue
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Oh sweet Lady Lane, you have brought mega tears to my eyes with this write. I at times envy you for NOT being able to hear the negativity of this world and I also admire you for making the best of it that you have. You are a special gift sweet lady and no one can ever take that from you...
You hearing may be impaired, but your touch is not my dear...you touch me in ways you'll never know. And for that I will love you always...
☼Becky☼
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becky...thank you
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it seems poetry and wisdom are extra-sensory gifts that come from living in two worlds. -silverfish
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the skin doesn't go away though does it ... that's the candle and it is what does not give warning but gives, instead, a place for your blood to flow ... the hair doesn't stop telling you there's a breeze, or a wind ... your feet don't stop telling you there's a vibration or a hard place or a living, breathing soil .. and when you open your eyes ... you see an illusion which means nothing without the flesh, the hair, the feet, the fingers, the tongue, taste and .... the love of a cat or a turtle ...
you have written a slightly dark one here, and it is beautifully drawn like a blade across jello ... there is just a jiggle, yes? closing your eyes won't make it go away because it is inside you and lots of people don't have it ...
but you do, don't you
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This is absolutely brilliant penned with feeling and insight. It inspired me to write a poem about deafness and me. http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/4365187
Love,
Amera♥
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Oh please never become part of the crowd, particularly if it is the crowd of the human race. It sucks and not one I care to be a part of when I can help it.
Other than that love the sharing here.
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A truly wonderful write
This is amazing, I had to question whether you knew this first hand or not, knowing that if not, then you had to have at least put yourself there to directly feel what you describe.
I love each stanza, giving us insight into the issue about our warning systems, then the intimacy of such private space.
The last stanza is amazing, in that such a taste, which I can taste, of such a way of connecting through feeling to the world. My sense of it is one of being in a way which is more essential than may otherwise be and that this may bring a very special gift to the people who's company you share.
All the best to you Lane
Sol
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"All I have to do
is close my eyes
and the world dies
like a pinched flame
on a candle wick."
So often I am enjoying a peaceful moment and have to turn on my selective hearing to block out sounds that don't fit into the visual picture I am seeing. Like the time I was watching the family of geese float on the water, the birds chirping, it was so peaceful, so beautiful. Of course there were other noises, the dumptrucks, in the far-off distance, where their hauling off the mountain to make it flat, the boom from the dynamite as it explodes, the hammering from construction as they build house afer house in what used to be a serene place. I do my best to block those sounds out. They don't belong. For me, they never will. Sometimes, I wish, I could just block the man-made sounds out permanently.....Then what a wonderful world this would be.
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I often read poems by you where you conjure up a picture for me to walk into. The other day you surprised me with a metaphysical work; today you surprised me with something deeply personal. It's fascinating, and brilliant, but (of course) I can't walk into it. Thank you for sharing this.
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Great write, Lane. The words give the reader a glimpse into your world and what it might be like for them to experience it. The second stanza was powerful. It makes me think of how often most people take their senses for granted in life and of how easily and quickly life can change in the blink of an eye. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
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this is such an interesting look into your life
and you did so well it the prompt! such uniqueness
>>and warnings....its something I've never really thought of....I know that even tho I can hear them...sometimes I dont appreciate them as I should>>.
beautiful write
good luck in the contest!!!!
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As one eye sees the world as a blur know and it may not get better. I close one eye and the world is bright or dark. Still we never lose our humanity and perhaps are only more aware of how real it is.
Love, Tom B.
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I find I envy you sometimes, to shut the world out and not hear what happens around you and the cacophony of hate, misery and need. There are times I want to scream my lungs out. But like you my heart beats that pulse that I always hear no matter what, because I feel it as you do. Love, C
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I freely admit it, as a man who lives in sound I find your deafness fascinating. I cannot comprehend a world where words do not sing for their supper.
A beguiling poem that gives me more reason to wonder.
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