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One Puppet Rises

the strings of the puppets
fall soft to the stage
dolls now performing
a dance full of rage

the master has cut their strings

now all the puppets
are free from their chains
sinning unbridled
released from their reigns

the stage is set

calamity, chaos
a taste of rebirth
no rules to confine
as they tear up the earth

the play continues

their lives cry out now
wishing for hope
alone and together
the end of their rope

the puppets unite

one and all crashing
to the floor in refrain
crying for chastity
must they be sane?

the Master returns

one puppet rises
and offers control
the puppeteer laughs
and tugs at her soul

the puppet is whole



Author notes

Option 1
"The imagination has no limits."

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    July 30

    Edit | Reply

    OK...this is interesting...

    and when I see 'the Master returns'...you know what I'm thinking & then I see :

    one puppet rises
    and offers control
    [??? this confuses me...]

    the puppeteer laughs
    [who's the puppeteer? You have the master in the beginning cutting the strings...]
    and tugs at her soul ~ The puppeteer laughs ~ tugging at her soul & this makes the puppet whole? I'm trying to see the story in its context & the master & Master in differentiation to the puppeteer, or should I not make a distinction 'cause you haven't really? ...that's what confuses me. I didn't sleep at all last night to try to force my body into a new sleep pattern...earlier bed time & earlier awakening...& I dunno....I'm just Can you tell I really want to understand this interesting poem? I thought you were linking me to something new. Perhaps you're wanting to tighten this up a bit? I think this is a good story poem, but you know me wanting everything to be relatable to the Word.

    the puppet is whole ~ This sounds like part of a Ku. It's the right # of syllables for the first or last line.



    • Darkwell
      August 5
      Edit | Reply
      when you give your soul to God its giving control of your strings, temperance. in the poem his children are tempted away from their faith and fall into depravity and chaos, soon one soul realizes she is out of control and seeks God to guide her, fulfilling her vow to God and giving her eternal life i cant help it if it doesnt match the word right, i channel my inner voice and it chooses the words


  • owlish
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's a very dark, intense poem, but it doesn't fit into my contest. Unless you can point out to me how, I'll DQ you. jk, I never DQ people but yeah, I think you should get the point though.


  • CassidyEngle
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Stunning! Superb! Amazing!


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Woooow! this is superbly dark. Your imagery is spectacular, I love how your poem progresses through order, chaos, and then back to order of sorts. I also enjoy how you had a line break between each stanza, really kept my attention, wondering what was going to happen next....

    Thanks so much for sharing this, for following my rules, and for taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is one amazing poem i could picture everything as i read. Very well written and i liked it alot. thanks for entering my contest. i wish you the best of luck
    ..<3..
    Shelly

  • thenorthernstar
    June 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow this eas kool ty for entering it I like the pic reminds me of that song about the doll


  • CharleeBoy
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well the picture is creeping me out a bit, lol but its all good. now about the poem, that is flawless. the way you put everything into place, really has readers sucked into your choice of words. however, i feel the line, The Master Returns could be a lot more. either way you decide, doesn't affect the poem all to much.

    well i'll stop boring you with my comment now. once again, well done


  • storiesuntold gold member
    June 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very good write

    I tried to see as I was reading and you truly gave me a show this is good


  • LivInThisObsession
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good I loved this! Wonderful flow, it was like being led through a dark fairytale, and i was definitely anxious for the next line


  • Poetic Obscenity
    June 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    =

    I agree very much with the comment below me. You've written a wonderful piece. I feel it fits the picture prompt ever so well. I love your take on it.
    The story is very interesting, very..intriguing, to say the least.
    I very much enjoyed your work.
    Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.


  • Ravensdark
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent flow and rhyme....this is a very well constructed poem and I enjoyed reading it immensely...tells a fantastic story and conveys strength....great work

1 - 14 of 14