running through razor blades
dancing on glass
peeling off layers
and hoping to pass
hurdling bullets
dig deep in a hole
climb in the middle
now let the mud flow
mirror mirror to the core
said too much and now its war
skipping on flames
like a slide in the rain
scattering forces
in pleasure and pain
walking on acid
its pretty much fun
if you have thick steel boots
for the heat of the sun
mirror mirror cant you see
its not the same reality
swimming in anthrax
no fear it wont kill
hold your breath now
youll find a new thrill
climbing barbed wire
the higher you go
look down blood dripping
on some that you know
mirror mirror pit of hell
in the flame you kiss and tell
dodging hot lasers
duck fast then jump right
roll on the ground
now show em the light
spinning on chaos
fates threads in a bind
destiny approaches
the end to mankind
mirror mirror in the sky
kiss it once then say goodbye
Author notes
Darkwell - Liz
A contest entry
- For those of you in love with your pre-writes :) by thepoetsings.
950 points, ended July 15, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come One, Come All - The Circus Is In Town by lowercase prelude.
4000 points, ended October 15, 2008, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Editorials:
- lines 4 & 14. I would prefer that you use "and" rather than "an", though this is ultimately your decision
- line 10. "to" -> "too"
- line 27. You haven't used any punctuation in the rest of the piece, so I would suggest removing the comma unless there's a really good, specific reason it's there.
For what this is, you did a good job. I liked that you alluded to a fairy tale with the "mirror mirror"; I thought that created a very strong juxtaposition seeing as how the actual content was not at all story-like. However, I will be honest and say this isn't the sort of thing that I would normally read. Thanks for entering and sharing
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