did you ever think how the world would be,
if the ground was like air and the air was all sea?
if the trees grew roots up or stones rolled uphill
these are things i think about still
what if monkeys spoke clearly in french and in latin
and sand was real smooth like a fine purple satin?
What if rainbows were formed in the shape of a square
and the leprechauns had big pots of gold there
in the morning the sun would give wake up calls
an make its sunshine go right through the walls
in the night the moon would sing a love song
that made all the hearts grow big and strong
Dogs would love cats and bats would have feathers
and owls would drop mice cheese cake held on tethers
Elephents would have stripes and zebras would glow
while dolphins would swim in the sky just for show
I guess its all silly and doesnt make sense
but not sillier than a war and a fence
Did you ever think how the world would be
if we all shared it all for free?
A contest entry
- Dove Song by Shya.
600 points, ended September 21, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 138 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dizu wants something happy for a change. :] by Duchess Dizufish.
800 points, ended August 16, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Pre-Written Rhyme by piccola.
800 points, ended August 15, 2008, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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wow so how i think life is a ball game we just play along
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well I like the poem and I think it makes a good point all the what if's that life tosses at us the flow was well done and the rhyme is definitely great I don't think this poem fits a dr seuss theme , thank you for entering though im only one judge
Lucian" -
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I Concur on your judgment of this write it was well written to me just quite didnt cut the cloth of Dr Seuss
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very imaginative as well as filled with brilliant imagery. It manages to keep up a story line and never leave the beat or lose the rythem. Great job and thank you for the entry
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I forgot this!
Thanks so much for your entry!
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what did you forget?
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Awwww!
This was sweet. :]
Great imagery. I loved all of it.
You made me smile.
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This Poem was very original and had a great meaning. so many people die in war which is totally unnecessary, the world you described so beautifully would be fun to live in.
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hanxu
my muse was being silly that night
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The words that describe my reaction to this poem are all overused to the point that they do not mean what they should anymore. So let me just be speechless with awe and admiration for a moment....
I am reminded of Doctor Seuss and of John Lennon. I was taken in from the first line, and I did not want to leave this world you have created with your words. This is written with a tone of innocent humor that belies its depth and core of realistic understanding that the world is not as fine as it might be. This is known by some as romantic realism, which for me is the best kind of realism there is.
Now, this was entered in my contest for poems about poetry and poetry writing. I love this poem, as I have loved very few poems, but it does not fit the contest. I am going to remove it from the contest, but I hope I never forget it.
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OK
WOW im happy it touched you
thanxu
4 
God Bless
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Hello.
This is a good write, dreamy and surreal. Your rhyme and flow was good, didn't read forced. It was tied up nicely as well by the last stanza, and the self acknowledgment that all you had said before was silly was a good touch, mind you after things like monkey's speaking French and Latin, you were hardly going to say it was serious, hahaha. Self-effacing added to the seriousness of the last stanza; a nice write. Good luck in this contest.
My regards.
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A good write. Whimsical and imaginative. Nice simile. Good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Nice depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice, alliteration and assonance. Well penned and much enjoyed. Best wishes in the contest.
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