you took every part of me that was left
you words danced around me
[grasping me and twirling me into your arms]
every single li(n)e that you whispered into my ear
drew me farther in,
made my heart more inebriated and my step more off key
your sweet whispers caressing
["bby girl i want you bad"]
removed my clothes and left me open to you
i wobbbbbled towards your bed
slurring my intentions and my desires;;
eventually just melding into you
[and i still can get myself back]
you broke my in two,
left me shoved into haphazard places
went off and forgot about our "forever&ever"
we were star-crossed lovers
[the worst part is we still are]
you were the breakdown of my everything
and the sick thing is
[you still are my everything]
there's nothing to like about you,
you're disqusting
you're grime
Your [dick] is probably the best part of you,
and to be honest,
[there was still much to be desired]
Author notes
Dirty Pretty ♥
the way it feels to have your heart shattered
i couldn't decide which one to do really so i have a few all mixed in here
A contest entry
- by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended June 25, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Is Dirty Pretty a Lost Cause? by Hell In Harmony.
6500 points, ended July 22, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty ♥ by Page Deleted..
425 points, ended July 11, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty, anyone?♥ by innocence jaded.xx.
575 points, ended July 28, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raw Emotion by x meerz.
500 points, ended July 28, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
this poem made me smile
I liked:
you broke my in two,
left me shoved into haphazard places
went off and forgot about our "forever&ever" -
I liked this. There were a few spelling errors, but nothing too major :] haha, definitely cracked up at:
-Your [dick] is probably the best part of you
...
I mean, it IS the title, but I just couldn't help but crack up when reading that. lol =) thanks for entering & good luck ! ♥
-
This poem just made me smile, especially the lines:
***Your [dick] is probably the best part of you,
and to be honest,
[there was still much to be desired]***
Reminds me of an ex-boyfriend
Thanks for entering and best of luck.
♥ Finalist ♥
Keira
-- blackwood.baby -
every single li(n)e that you whispered into my ear
drew me farther in,
made my heart more inebriated and my step more off key
that reminds me of how I used to write dirty pretty, which isn't really a bad thing.
i wobbbbbled towards your bed
slurring my intentions and my desires;;
eventually just melding into you
[and i still can get myself back]
LOVE that. the ideas was cliche, but the way you wrote it wasn't.
and to be honest,
[there was still much to be desired]
this is deffinately nice to read. =] It was straight forward and honest as well. I liked the ending. thanks. Kat
-
I love the phrase I made, about the dick being the best part of the person, as it does definately describe my ex. He too, was scum and crap, but I loved him and after he broke up with me, even though he tore me apart, I still adored him immensely. There's always going to be a part of me that cares about him too, which unnerves me.
-
oh shit!
damn i loved this one like all!
its just interesting with all the "[blah]" you know with all that
But good job its prob one of the best i've read in a LONG while!
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