My heart is cold and bitter as discarded coffee grounds—
full of black swamp sand my dragon nestles in.
But she shimmers—a glimmer of her former life.
I close my eyes to see tiny explosions
of color and light and I’m all right.
Even in the deepest, darkest of places she waits to sparkle.
My heart wanes with satellites; she pulses
like galaxies, breathes like a fish
in a frozen lake. And she’s as full as heaven,
but sometimes void of heaven, always searching
for life, for outer limits, for the why and wonder.
I went… I journeyed far (wound up nowhere)
and returned home to find my sons in love
with suns and their children sprinkled like dust
now swept away by floods. I wander humid
gardens alone, aching like a vampire under the sun,
star-gazing lilies (progeny of my children’s children).
My heart as empty as heaven. My canopy has fallen.
All the spinning wheels and Ferris wheels
and orreries and telescopes were fed to fires.
Every hand reaches higher than it used to on its own.
They’re plucking planets, I’m pocketing
stones. My heart wants to slip to the black
bottom of a broken fountain to cool my burns.
Life buzzes hot and loud, like the streets in Rome
(and my heart was once full of that heat and rage
when I was young and royal and Roman).
But my aged heart sleeps until twilight. My dragon
unfurls his wings and I wish I could shrink
the universe as small as my fist to slip
back into my heart, and I’ll be white and full of light
and strong as the wind (out of broken fountain,
out of the cavern, back on my throne, my dragon
the jeweled bird that he was). But heaven’s an echo.
She and I are ripples vanishing like honey bees.
Author notes
picture: Juno Regina by tenshianna
http://tenshianna.deviantart.com/art/juno-regina-46422111
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
wow
What an amazing journey you've taken the reader on! Very image packed, and full of that whole lost in the galaxy of emotions thing going on here. In other words ..I REALLY LIKED THIS WRITE!
-
WOW!
Great imagery and the rhythm and flow of this piece work perfectly with your subject. I am awed by your metaphors and the mastery of your words and phrases. I look forward to reading more of your work.
. Rewarded 4
-
Hi Poetess,
I really like this poem. I know I’m supposed to be looking for complicated metaphor but it’s always the imagery that grabs my attention. I tasted the bitterness of coffee grounds, saw a fish swimming beneath the ice on a frozen lake, pictured dragons, and imagined the far reaches of my universe.
Juno was the guardian spirit of females; she was also queen of the heavens. Her Etruscan name was “Uni” from which the word universe derives. One of Juno’s symbols was the peacock. Does
“my dragon the jewelled bird that he was” refer to this. I think “I’m pocketing stones” may have a mythological connection as well.
I guess that when we no longer worship an ancient goddess, she loses her power to bestride the heavens and only ripples of her memory remain.
Thanks for posting such an erudite and interesting poem.
Regards, Peter
. Rewarded 8
-
Can't sum it up.
You finish so strong in those last 11 lines. One thing though, in the last stanza you have 'shrink the universe. As small as my fist to slip' If that start of a new sentence was intended it doesn't work as well for me. The energy, spirit you felt in this writing came across so full of beauty and art in those last lines. I especially loved 'vanishing like honey bees.' Since you asked: The first stanza, 'she's as full as heaven, but sometimes void of heaven,....' 'she's as full and empty/void as heaven' would flow better for my eyes and ears. For me the poem doesn't start off with near the clarity, power and beauty it ends on. The metaphor of 'wanes with satellites', I liked after I thought of it, seeing these frozen metal lonely rockets fading in lights, power. But instead of pausing to think I'd rather been taken to this image with clearer stronger wording. 'bruised like galaxies' didn't work much for me, though 'breaths like a fish in a frozen lake' was good and did connect me back with your satellite imagery. The second stanza could have been stuffed under the ice for all I care. What were you trying to say with all that? And what kept you from doing so in the same spirit and talent as the last stanza?? I should qualify all this with some humble bullshit line about my critique abilities, but I'm not. I can see you put a good deal of work into this, maybe too much stuff cluttered things, explaining the second stanza, unsure. But do take this with goodwill and respect of your abilities. Dave
. Rewarded 8
-
-
It's really nice to hear from you.
At the moment, I'm just forcing stuff out--just to keep writing. This whole piece is jumbled and a big mess (in my mind). I wanted June to be peaceful, but she's mornful and it's not what I wanted for this poem. Thanks for an honest comment. You make me want to strive for better because you know I can do better. The last three poems I've written all need to be revised. Once I catch the writing bug again, I'll get right on upgrading this piece. Really appreciate the critique and the compliments on the last stanza.
-K
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
