Come closer, sit beside me.
Let me sway from your scent
Like the limb on a dogwood tree.
Take me to the place where we last went.
Feel my hand there on your knee
Do you like the heat it brings?
Slide ever closer to me
Hear the song as my whisper sings.
Know that I am so excited
Sitting here I’m starting to feel
You are the man God for me created
Do you feel the way I feel?
We have the night before us
To go places old and new
Recall the night on the late bus
And the pleasure I brought to you.
This excitement is overwhelming
But there is more to what we have
All the things we keep back-shelving
We need to jump in and delve
To the way we are together always
Not just in bed, though that’s explosive
We share music and art in many ways
Though erotic seems to come most every eve.
Come closer, sit beside me.
Let me sway from your scent
Like the limb on a dogwood tree.
Take me to the place where we last went.
A contest entry
- Romance... (ladies only!!) by Angelflower.
1500 points, ended July 30, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
awww this is really sweet!! you did such a wonderful job.. The image was just so loving in many ways and so soft!! And it just flowed so well! I really enjoyed reading this!! thank you very much for sharing! Best of luck!
Angel
-
I really like how 'soft' it reads.
It's really got a nice pace to it as well.
Come closer, sit beside me.
Let me sway from your scent
*And those are really great beginning lines to grab my attention*
Wonderful Job**
. Rewarded 4
-
Lovely Romance and Erotica
Beautiful, the place we last went, the dogwood tree. I like how you point out the explosive times in bed, but share intellectual endeavors as well. This line capitvates me, "Though erotic seems to come most every eve."
. Rewarded 4
-
Interesting and sensual.
-
Sensual fantasy
I love this piece because of it's softness, but at the same time depicts the true desire; what you really want from a given situation.
"To the way we are together always
Not just in bed, though that’s explosive
We share music and art in many ways
Though erotic seems to come most every eve."
A man and a woman can be explosive and have that thrusting passion and vision; but we do share art and music...the 'list' and poetry itself. Beautiful thoughts.
"We have the night before us
To go places old and new
Recall the night on the late bus
And the pleasure I brought to you."
We've actually spent bus rides talking about the pleasure we've brought to each other, like deja vu. Any two lovers can have these moments.
Beautiful language, very soft poetry. The only major problem is...please change the colour scheme. I know you probably used these colours for the softness of it all; but it ruins the effect, hurts the eyes. I give this poem an 8/10! Rearrange a clearer colour scheme and I say, 8.5! Solid write all around!
. Rewarded 8
-
-
Thank You
I appreciate the kind words from you. I also thank you for bringing the colors to my attention. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what I write I overlook details. I think this is better.
-
-
Now that was romantic! Aww good luck in the contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
