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Societys Lashes

tell me that you love me, and taint me with more lies,
tell me I'm your angel then look into my eyes,
speak to me more false hopes for the future,
then tell me that I'm a nobody, that I'm just a china doll

so beautiful and fragile, it brings such joy for you to watch me break,
my heart is in your hands, and you taint me till its black, all you can do is forsake,
your laughing at my crying when you tell me that you lied,
that I'm really just a whore, a fuck up, a nobody, your bit on the side,

smile as i reach for my knife, knowing I'm alone,
when I'm screaming for someone to help me and then once again I'm thrown,
against the wall for more of this abuse, screaming at me,
telling me how I'm a fuck up, and telling me id be raped if i disagree,

then you leave me and I'm alone with my mind,
i begin to cry and shake feeling more isolated then ever, this depression is defined,
and I'm screaming for help but all everyone hears is a pin being dropped,
you cant hear my voice to you I'm just silent, i cant hear my heart it has stopped,

and I'm lay here on the floor, a broken mess,
nobody wants me, take me, use me, break me, forsake me, then throw me around like a pawn in a game of chess,
and in my silent screams you hear, care for me, love me, want me, don't hate me,
don't use me, don't abuse me,

but once again my voice is silenced out by the manner of society,
and I'm alone, isolated and broken, an angel who fell

Author notes

umm yeah...

In a list

A contest entry

tell me what you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    July 25, 2008
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    Short but you made a point great job. ..<3.. shelly


  • Nothing But No
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    An angel who fell...

    And blessed us with poetic magick. This is brutal and heart breaking and...everything I love about poetry. Thank you for another wonderful piece.

    xxxx
    Rodwen

  • Nothing But No
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    An angel who fell...

    And blessed us with poetic magick. This is brutal and heart breaking and...everything I love about poetry. Thank you for another wonderful piece.

    xxxx
    Rodwen


  • LadyDementia gold member
    July 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the silver!

    Oh wow, pain and sadness drip from this hun, such deep emotions. You've expressed them beautifully. The imagery portrayed was so sad, you've done a superb job here. Congrats on the silver...love you hun


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    July 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello!

    Although I am not much on the themes you choose, I'm very impressed on how creative you are. The flesh and the fantasy come together and I nearly see this on film.
    I'd say you have a good screenwrite here.

    Thank you for sharing and offering the vulnerability
    of your inner spheres.

    Blessings, CookieZeal


  • Mistress Masquerade
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So much beauty, passion, pain, and sadness in this single write. A lot of what you said spoke directly into my heart and seemed to relate to things I have gone through. This I could feel the pain dripping from, just like blood off a knife. Thank you for entering, you blew me away.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    June 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    this was definitely wow

    you unleashed soulfully and we felt every pain
    and plead...the speaking of double minded misery
    and anguish reaching through........

    loved it!
    well written and smartly done!
    way to write!
    ears/Seattle BRAVO! BRAVO!


  • Zenda-Lokki gold member
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oooohhh you used the background
    I created for you hehe. Looks
    good lol.
    The poem was very expressive hun,
    I love how you manage to put so
    much emotion in your words.

    Keep penning
    Del


  • Angelflower
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hun you did such a wonderful job.. You really expressed yourself so well.. the emotions were so heartfelt and heartbreaking as well.. You really let yourself go with this write..

    "but once again my voice is silenced out by the manner of society,
    and I'm alone, isolated and broken, an angel who fell"

    I hope that life gets better for you in the near future.. best of luck in the contest hun..In my eyes it's a winner


    Angel


  • Play-A-War
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Really good write! A lot of strong emotions expressd so well!

    'so beautiful and fragile, it brings such joy for you to watch my break,' I have a feeling you ment to put me and not my? also

    'and I'm lay here on the floor, a broken mess,' you may have ment I or instead laying?
    (I'm forever miss typing things =] and if it's ment to be like that than i'm sorry.)


    Thanks for entering.

    Good luck in the contest


    • Lost Vampyre Angel
      June 24, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      ooh thankies for pointing it out
      i just corrected it and the second one is meant to be like that its oki, thanks for pointing it out

      • Play-A-War
        June 24, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I just didnt want to upset you or something if it was ment to be like that I myslef like to be told if i got it wrong, so thats why i thought i would mention it XG and again good write =]


  • movedon
    June 24, 2008

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    Wonderful imagery. The title is well suiting to this poem!! Rhyming is great in the beginning, but then it starts to feel like its kind of forced..but it might work. *re-reads poem real fast* yeah it works Good job on this one.

    Mylee


  • Kindredblood
    June 24, 2008

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    i can feel the pain like a knife within your words, the power of which you protray your feelings, the isolation woven into the lines, and the images your have painted, I cant relate as I am not you, though i can relate only to the emotions and the feel, depressions i have lived with for years, not saying you're depressed just saying i can relate in a remote sorta way.
    and yeh sometimes my comments dont make much sense to the poetic but many know me for all my oddities.

    Hope you find the love you seek, that is the real love not the love that last for the moment then is discarded, and I hope you find your smile again, beuatifully written though very heartfelt sad.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    June 24, 2008

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    So sad they dont know

    I hear of children abused and it goes through their whole life unseen and yet its shown within their eyes peple look into every day .When will our world wake up and save the children . This write is true for so many today and I ask why is it kept a secret for the lies they tell these children to keep them silent are so untrue .For the child can stop it for a life brand new
    dont remain quiet and be their muse


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    June 23, 2008

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    aww hun im so sorry your feeling down, you know I am always here for you. I wont ever be as good as anyone who will treat you with the admiration and love you deserve but you are amazing. love you hun

    • Lost Vampyre Angel
      June 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      its ok ive been down for days its just i only just got to writing how down i am now, you are just as good as them i love you to

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