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ding ding ding the bell a rings...

ding ding ding
the bell a rings
its eight o'clock
and its time to rock

walking to class
making it last
trying to see friends
before the time ends

sit down in first
listening is the worst
whispering and passing notes
drawing the teacher as a goat

the teacher hushes us down
passing a test around
the classroom gets all quiet
as we make the best of it

ding ding ding
the bell a rings
it's nine o'clock
and its time to rock

its time for our next class
walking slow making it last
trying to see some friends
before the time ends

making it in the gym
walking around with them
the ones you wonder about
but nothing really comes out

we change into our outfits
some kids that just won't quit
running around room nude
being all kinds of rude

the kids all laughing aloud
as they start to beat up on a kid
i stand there lookin at him
as he looks to me in shame

finally i get off my ass
and take on the rest of class
they all back off respectively
letting the poor kid be

ding ding ding
the bell a rings
it's ten o'clock
and its time to rock

it's on to our third
making a few little words
with all of our friends
before the time ends

we make it into class
hoping the time goes past
we sit there and do our math
as the teacher gives her wrath

the kid that in the run
is the kid they were picking on
finally i raise my hand high
as i sit there making a lie

the teacher screams out what
and i say i need your help but
if you don't want to help fine
i figure it out in my time

the teacher point's a finger
and walks over so linger
coming to my rescue
when really i took the que...

he sat there with those same eyes
as if he was saying his goodbyes
and i sat there staring at them
and she looked to me and then him...

ding ding ding
the bell a rings
it's eleven o'clock
and its time to rock

it's time for our lunch
of which we get to munch
on our portions of food
that makes up the mood

we sit and talk to others
as some make some bothers
some kids there were teasing the boy
throwing him around like a toy

so finally my friends and i
get up and walk to say hi
so finally they drop the boy
as he walks away in coy

so the group of boys may be tall
but we stood higher as we made them fall
stop messing around with him
or next time we meet it will be grimm

as we go to sit down
as we all come around
hearing a few bangs
we turn around as it rang

ding ding ding
the bell a rings
it's twelve o'clock
and its time to rock...

we all look around the corner
to see the little boy is a gunner
he stood there with a friend
who says lets begin...

the two walk in the room
bringing everyone's doom
the six of us stood there
only able to stare

as the people tried to run away
as there friends fell to stay
over fifty dead in the room
none got a way all to soon

the gunners walking out the front doors
shooting people, as there hitting the floors
my friends and i stayed behind the wall
and finally i decided to make the call

within five minutes did they come
the two gunners having killing some
come on up to where we're at
i stand there covering where my friends sat

the little boy came up close
and i closed my eyes as he made a choice
dropping the gun at my feet
looking back as their eyes meet

the other gunner and the little boy
nod there heads and look in coy
they take the guns and walk away
leaving us to live to day

the six of us made a choice
with our voice and not our force
to help this boy in some danger
so he helped us against this stranger

with a few minutes we heard shots
just two and it came from the lots
we got up and started to walk
as the cops came round the block

we stood in front of the cafeteria
thanking god that it was over...

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Comments


  • BeautifulFlame
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I admire this write for showing that if we have the courage to stand up and be kind,some lives may be saved!
    I like also that you tell the victims story also.

    Goodluck,
    ~Lisa~


  • Paranoid Ecstasy
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write.
    I love how though it's from the perspective of a victim, you still show how the shooter was tormented constantly. I like the count down as well, it shows how another massacre is just waiting to happen.


  • LittleAnn
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "ding ding ding
    the bell a rings"
    I love how you used this as a kind of refrain, it fits so well.
    You have an interesting writing style.
    I was getting more and more nervous as I was reading this, maybe it was because of the rhyming and the refrain that was kind of like a countdown... also the line "before the time ends" contributes to this.

    I also like that this wasn't from the perspective of the shooter.

    All in all, this was a good read although I think this could be improved in some parts. Some lines felt out of place, like you were trying too hard to make it rhyme...


    Anyways, good job!
    Keep on writing!
    Annie


  • hobo-candy
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    first one i have gotten that was about a victim instead of the shooter...thank u very much it was a great write and welcome to the finals