Shelbie

The most confusing girl I've ever met
is a 5-foot-7-inch tall brunette
with the sweetest brown eyes I've ever seen.
Those rosy pink lips do taunt.
They make me think, and wish, and want,
and crave the flavor of their lusciousness.

Today she loved me. Tomorrow, who knows.
Since the day we met, it’s gone just that way.
“I’m in love with you” she’ll say, today
but tomorrow is too consumed to remember.

And I wonder what it would take
to be the other woman.
I don’t even know how to be THE woman...
much less the other...
much less hers at all.

If I had my way, I’d rather just lose her
before I get tangled in an emotional web.
Today she loves me, tomorrow she doesn’t know,
the next day she’s peachy, and the following, a no show.
Here I am consumed by thought.
Does she love me or does she not?
I’d really like to know.

I’d like to know how she could “love” me
and allegedly spend time thinking of me;
an entire day to contemplate
The relevance to me of a pop tab.
And the very next, to ask what  -I-  expect.
Is that just her nerve--
Its steel band clutching my heart
and effecting me with her poison?

The days she loves me are the days my heart quakes,
and my hands shake,
and my arms ache to hold her close and not let go.
Then others when she confuses me so,
I’m almost angry with the thought of her,
and am sure that I’d say no.

But she pulls me so close
just to push me away.
Is she bipolar? Troubled? Incredibly sane?
Is she lying when she professes her love
and tells me that I’m the girl she dreams of?
Is this chance just a hopeless happenstance?

When her tide rolls in will she take me away
to be hers, to be only hers?
Or will I just lie wet and cold upon the shore,
crying for a savior, to assure me I’m not a whore
because I thought this time she was really gonna stay?

Maybe again, she’s not the only one afraid.
After the way I reacted when I saw her today,
I’d swear it’s love.
But I couldn’t admit that...
not even to her...
not even to myself.
What if I fall too fast and too hard
only to find the loneliness that never really went away,
because she never really needed me in the first place?

The most confusing girl I’ve ever met
is a 5-foot-7-inch tall brunette
that I shouldn’t love or need.
But my mind doesn’t control
what my heart knows,
and in my heart… it’s Shelbie.