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Broken Ties

Missing image

 

 

 

He sits in his chair all alone in his room
a blanket to cover his knees,
to gaze from the window at roses in bloom
bewildered by all that he sees.

His wife brings his coffee she knows that he’ll spill,
sits down and she helps him to drink,
he stares at her face and with all the best will
he never can quite grasp the link.

She smiles in the hope that he might say her name
but knows in her heart that won't be,
his eyes never moving, his lips still the same,
his feelings will never be free.

She kisses his head as she’s done every day
stands up and then turns round to leave,
she stops in her tracks as his voice starts to say
and his hand gently tugs at her sleeve.

One single tear stains his motionless face
there’s no sign of life in his eyes,
she loves him, she knows he is in the right place
but Parkinson’s broken the ties.

She grips both his hands as the tremors take hold
and clutches them tight to her breast,
the shaking gets worse, she must do as she’s told
and leaves him to sleep and to rest.

 

 

 

 


 

Author notes

The character in my poem has both Parkinsons disease and the onset of Alzheimers disease as well, as I have been asked about his condition.



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Comments

1 - 81 of 81

  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 28
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    A poem that shows you at your remarkable best. Tender, heartfelt and empathic while being perfectly rhymed and in the smoothest of meters.
    Great stuff.

  • whispernthedark gold member
    September 20

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    You have very eloquently captured the effects of this ravaging disease. Wonderful write, very deserving of all it's trophies. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.


    whisper
  • renay
    September 20
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    very sad.i see this comming in my life in a few years

  • Dark Otter gold member
    September 17

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    Yes, all that and more

    A tough topic to tackle in poem form. You did well in your visual imagery and forcing your audience to 'see this man.'


  • nevadapoet gold member
    September 12
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    a powerful write...big applause.
    Nevadapoet


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    She kisses his head as she’s done every day
    stands up and then turns round to leave,
    she stops in her tracks as his voice starts to say
    and his hand gently tugs at her sleeve.

    Beautiful. Good luck!

  • moonbumps silver member
    August 21

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    I really cannot believe what I have just read-a masterpiece of a write-I bet Jeff carries this one already.
    Hilly xxx

  • Nicolette gold member
    August 11
    Edit | Reply
    A poignant piece of writing about two terrible diseases. I myself have written about Alzheimers too. The rhyming was done well but somehow I felt the poem didn't fall smoothly on the ears. The story here is a powerful and very moving one. Thank you for this entry.

    ~ Nicolette

  • Wonderful

    Firstly, I would like to re-present you with my silver award in exchange for the bronze (no disrespect to the presenter intended)
    I personally feel your poem is very moving and, so I think, a more deserving piece to be placed higher in this contest because it has come straight from the heart AND It happens to be the first poem I've read on this site for a very long time to actually bring a lump to my throat !
    The rhyme scheme is strong with a narrative that hits you hard between the eyes.
    Poignant and wonderful !
  • ecrivain01 silver member
    July 29

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    This is both ...

    poignant and powerful. You've managed to nail this one with nary a miscue or misstep.

    Congrats on the trophies and thanks for entering.
  • zammy
    July 27
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    Absolutely beautiful...thank you for this poem. It really is something special.

  • oh thats so sad I'm a nurse I understand how sad watching someone slowly die can be thanks for entering
  • Ahh...the life and its contraints you have depicted with a wonderful story of the soul....well done and my thanks for sharing it with me....
  • "and his hand gently tugs at her sleeve.

    One single tear stains his motionless face"

    Such a poignant poem. One is bewildered, both are lonely.
    This really chokes me up. Sad and so beautifully written.
    Congratulations on the silver trophy.


  • Anna Kay
    July 22

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    Oh wow, this poem is very emotionally gripping. It is sad without being overly dramatic, and graphic without being too overloaded by imagery. And it's well written on top of that! "but Parkinson’s broken the ties" -- that's a brilliant line if you ask me. All in all you have penned a definite gem here!

    All the best,

    Anna


  • Maxboy gold member
    July 22

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    Very sad and moving, all to real for so many.

    Thank you for your wonderful entry.


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 19

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    What a sad situation you describe so well here - terrible diseases to be inflicted with. Good flow, rhythm and rhyme in these lines. Enjoyed the read. Strong emotions come through these words.


  • PoeticLove
    July 14
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    Well, this had remarkable rhyme, meter and flow, I loved, loved loved this, such a sad story line. straight to the finals with you. OMG AWESOME

  • Amazing flow and a story well told


  • Quill Bill gold member
    July 12
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    sad poem, i care for my mother full time, to painfull to write about.

  • james119
    July 9

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    with form and grace, you have told a beautiful story

    I am quite impressed with the sensitivity witnessed here. This is a situation similar to those I have seen
    on visits to a 'retirement home'
    good write!!

  • ears2hearyou gold member
    June 29

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    BRAVO! BRAVO!

    What a gift you have done..to bring poetic voice to our
    sweet suffering..for Parkinson and Alzheimers is such
    a sad and slow leaking dis-ease.
    Thankyou kind poetess...for sharing your gift so boldly
    and tenderly to be heard!
    ears/Seattle


  • detrohutt
    June 29
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    This breaks my heart but the rhythm and rhyme are wonderful.
  • mgrimes1
    June 29
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    ultimately touching

    This is so full of life-yet at the same time, death. I can feel such emotion in these words

  • nilav
    June 28

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    that reminds us of human condition and asks us to be kind and considerate also....well written with rhyme also...as art is the concentrated form of reality it needs to be expressed in art as a pointer....

  • OMG ~~~ This is such a sad story,
    I work in a hospital and take care
    of patients with Parkinsins and also
    patients that have Alzhelmers, it is so hard to have just one disease, both to suffer with both.
    I feel so bad for not only him, but his wife as well.
    This is so touching and heartbreaking. I wish I
    could reach out and help this person somehow.

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce


  • Gwenevere
    June 28

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    Well deserved spotlight position.All too oftrn this happens to thr elderly and the only thing we can do is to love them, Ros
  • This poem immersed me in so many emotions.
    I really like the rhyme scheme and the flow was great.

    I really like how you depicted both characters in this piece as well- I found it heartbreaking to be in the womans position.


  • malmadre gold member
    June 28

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    Feelings just wash over me with reading this..I go and see my mother in the nursing home each month and she doesn't know who I am at times. I tell her that I love her and she says "I love you too" She has suffered numerous strokes with has left her paralyzed. Just looking around at the residents there, any one of them could be who you have written about. I say a blessing for the people who care for them when their families no longer can. This poem is so touching...so well expressed..


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    June 28

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    my tears are running now...

    ...you have put so much feeling into this sad poem. It has made me think about this problem and to hope I do not have to face it.

    How sad that the man still loves his wife and cannot let her know.

    How sad it is that she must now stay with him and share his misery. Here is a lesson for us about strength and courage.

    You have touched my heart with your magnificent poem.


  • paulcreates silver member
    June 28

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    This struck a personal chord with me. My father died of Alzheimers and I can relate SO well to the disconnection involved. I will say, though that my father presided at my wedding (a minister) even though he was just starting to be struck by that disease. He was so proud to officiate and I was so proud of him for practicing his words over and over to get it right.
    This poem is starkly real and ultimately touching. Thank you for your pen.

    Paul


  • rbruce gold member
    June 28

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    Sad and heartbreaking but also a wonderful tribute to all those who still care and love even when there is noresponse. extremely well done. Congratulations.

  • Really good poem. it is so sad but tells a great story that people can learn from or relate to. This was an emotional one and it hits readers hard. IT WAS AMAZING

  • Wow the love penned out in this piece this is true love! She gives him the coffee she knows he will spill that is absolutely incredible thank you for sharing this intense piece and featuring it!
  • mycatsasha
    June 26

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    SAD!!

    That is SO sad!! I love poems like this that tell a story. This one almost made me cry. This is the kind of poem that many people can relate to and makes it easier for the ones that can't to understand what it's like.
    I'm really glad I took the time to read this!

    . Rewarded 6

  • Perfectly rhymed and flowed poetry, I am not a big fan of either usually but clicked on your poem. What a dreadfully sad tale you tell and yet it has a redeeming quality of love. I was given some points so I can do this...


  • DeGraw
    June 26

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    SAD but true

    I took care of my cousin's grandmother for 5 years. She had Alzheimer's disease. It was a very difficult time for her and me. Your poem is very poignant for me and beautifully written. Thank you for your comment on "Paper Ream" and for sharing this poem with me.
    Regards
    Jennifer

  • sgking123
    June 26

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    excellent

    This was really asuperb write. You do know how to put together a poem that makes for an uplifting read.I found quite a few lines to be extremely intersting -particularly the following lines amazed me no end:


    She grips both his hands as the tremors take hold
    and clutches them tight to her breast,
    the shaking gets worse, she must do as she’s told
    and leaves him to sleep and to rest.


    Wow terrific emotions and human touch.Keep it up.thank you for sharing with us.
    Pls visit some of my works.

  • Irisheyes35
    June 26
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    Sad poem I really could feel the struggle that your going threw.May God be with you both.

  • My grandfather has parkinsons....

    thank you.

  • MargaretG silver member
    June 25

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    This is a very sad story, and except for the tremors, it could apply to Alzheimer's syndrome too. The wife shows amazing persistence and courage; I hope that love might bear me in such a situation. Very well done, I got tearful thinking about people I know.
    You have written lovely meter and rhyme.
    Typo: line 10, that wont be - won't

  • Great write i really liked it!
  • Clare
    June 24

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    Excellent poem

    Sue, I especially enjoyed reading your poem as I have added one quite like it to the site about an hour ago.
    My poem is "Rawboned" (Clare=user name)and is about
    a woman with Alzheimer's in an assisted living home.
    I look forward to hearing from you. Is there a particular image in "Rawboned" that you like? As for your poem? I find it quite touching as the wife is so careful to do what she can to help her husband "grasp the link" between her face and the fact that she is his wife. My favorite stanza is your last one because it really shows how much his wife cares: when the shaking gets to be at its worst, she holds his hands to her breast, and in true metaphor style, lets him "sleep and rest" or die. Loved it! Hope to hear from you!
    Clare=user name
    Claire T. Feild=real name

  • Rovingone gold member
    June 24

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    I thought at first this was about Alzhiemers. But, Parkinson's is as horrible in it's own way. Your poem might shed some light on the existence it leaves those afflicted and who love them stranded in. Having seen both I must say it's very realistic, painfully so.

  • Musimwa
    June 24

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    Very good

    so sad, so sad Mum. U have taken my heart on your use of imagery. Thank u Mum. Keep this up. U have perfected the art of words. God bless u. GOOD DAY

    . Rewarded 4

  • great

    it's hard to deal with a person who has no control over their actions. you've summed it up really well.
    Also great rhyming throughout.
    Is this someone you know? or just random? AS it sounds like you are talking from experience.
    If it is i feel for you, as my gran has dementia and sometimes it just isnt the person you use to know, and you wish you could cure them but you cant.
    keep writing ..very good.

  • Kleroo
    June 24

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    This reminds me of one a wrote on Altheimers such awful diseases out there I hope we'll one day find a cure Great Job on this Really moving

  • PerVirtuous gold member
    June 24

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    I know that many people have commented on the sadness of this poem, however, I see it as a triumph of the spirit! This woman may single-handedly renew my faith in humanity. For this I will give you standing ovations and bunnies.


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    June 24
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    true story well told

    Sad reality, unbroken rhythm.

  • karabi
    June 24

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    SUPERB

    Words fail me to praise this incomparable poem. It is so simple yet so moving. There is no attempt at poetising, not a word has been wasted, rhyming is immaculately perfect and the picture that emerges is so real and the feeling is genuine and sincere. One of the very best poems that I have come across on this site.

    . Rewarded 6

  • A very good write. creates a picture and emtiones flow all over.
    Thanks for sharing
    susan
  • Lorot
    June 24

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    The first time I heard of Parkinson disease was in the papers. That the late Pope John paul II was suffering from it. Later I learnt of how the disease is debilitating, killing somebody's motor skills and the nervous system. Reading this poem, you brought this out very well, as humanly as possible, with a lot of concern and remorse that anyone with heart as frozen as ice could melt under it's simmering heat of warmth.

    . Rewarded 8


  • Rockerstar
    June 24

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    Wow, that is powerfully encapturing. I can relate to that in a way, my grandfather died of Alzheimer's disease when I was about 8 yrs old but I can still remember what it did to my mother as he forgot even his own daughter....
    A touching piece, well done.

    . Rewarded 6

  • Bad Bill
    June 24

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    A genuinely moving poem, Sue, which describes truthfully and powerfully the impact of this debilitating condition.

    Bill


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    June 23

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    Very good, Sue, very good indeed. Watch out for any lines (like 19) which have ten rather than eleven beats to them, otherwise the meter and rhythm is spot on.

    OK, it's simple stuff, very straightforward narrative, but totally moving. Well done.


  • Amera gold member
    June 23

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    This is truly one of the most gripping poems I have ever read. You have captured the love, the pain, the emotion and the horror of the disease and the effect it has on the individual and the family. The power of your words is enhanced by the technically perfect presentation of rhyme and meter. This my friend is a world class poem and I think you should sent it to the National Parkinson Foundation located here: http://www.parkinson.org/NETCOMMUNITY/Page.aspx?pid=201&srcid=-2

    Love,
    Amera

  • wow this was so extremely sad I can't beleive how much it made me cry! you did such a powerful poem You did such a great job you are such an extrodernary poet you really and truely are! I can't imagine you not winning this contest You really are a wonder of poetic genious! my favc part was

    One single tear stains his motionless face
    there’s no sign of life in his eyes,
    she loves him, she knows he's in the right place
    but Parkinson’s broken the ties.


    bravo! that was amazing!

  • arafura
    June 23
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    Very sad and full of emotion andlove. Excellent my friend!

  • Not many poems give me a powerful emotional response feel too them. I'm glad too say this one has. I nearly cried reading this, it is very sad. I've seen the effects of the diease and it's quite distressing and I think that you've accurately discribed it here.
    Beautifully written, I see no flaws in this.
    Thank you for writing,
    Claire x

    . Rewarded 6

  • Wow....a truly exceptional piece of poetry. My favorite poems are the ones that speak the loudest and this one shouts straight to the heart of the reader. Bravo!

    . Rewarded 4


  • X-yfn-X
    June 23

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    a very excellent poem. much emotion is packed into this write and it is overflowing with feelings. my favorite part of the poem was when you said "She smiles in the hope that he might say her name
    but knows in her heart that wont be,
    his eyes never moving, his lips still the same,
    his feelings will never be free." there was no least favorite part to this poem. keep up the wonderful work, please.

    . Rewarded 8


  • pania gold member
    June 23

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    A fine write. Technically a solid base for the release of emotion. I saw this scene, as I see it often in the Nursing Home where I visit my mother. Impossible, the demands on love, and impossibly, people rise to them.

    . Rewarded 4

  • Too close to home this. My auntie has this condtion. Too personal for me to comment. But three claps Sue.


  • TexGirl
    June 23

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    This is so sad, I almost cried reading it! Diseases like Parkinson's can tear a loved one apart, even when they're just watching it happen. My grandmother has Alzheimer's and it's hard to watch her forget what she's doing or repeat herself over and over again. I loved the rhyming in this poem, it didn't sound forced. Good luck in the contest!

  • NurseyPoo
    June 23

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    Awesome

    Being a nurse, I have seen the effect disease can have on a person and few people realize how it falls hard on the family, esp the spouse. It's hard to lose the companship of the one to whom you have leaned on and been there for them as well. You did a wonderfully awesome job of protraying the issue.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Lily otv
    June 23

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    How sad it is that illnesses cause such painful distress, not only to those that suffer them but to the loved ones around them too. More so in some cases as memories from the past are still fresh in the mind yet they are left alienated from their loved ones. You have a natural ability to express the emotions of these situations so vividly. Good luck in the contest


  • Shannanagan
    June 23

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    this reminds me of a certain book/movie, Tuesdays With Morrie, maybe you've seen it it sounds like a cene from it, nice write and good luck in the contest
  • this is so heart felt, that feeling of being there and not being able to do anything comes across really well this is a great poem, i like the rhymn, i dont normaly like a lot of rhymn poetry but this works for me and it doesnt seem forced i love the opening verse, and the part about the single tear... best of luck to you in the contest

    . Rewarded 6


  • moonbumps silver member
    June 23
    Edit | Reply
    Forget bloomin' technicals! This write blows me away in every direction-fan-bloody-tastic! I really do not know how you do it but you always pull out the gold every time your pen hits the paper! Gotta be a winner!
    Love you big lots-Hilly xxx

  • A powerful if sad reflection, and way too fresh memories stirring in my head. The agony of the sufferer and the ones who love them. OUCH!

    Well done Sue

    Jem xxx


  • Dalaney gold member
    June 23

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    your writing stimulates so many memories of my own and this poem actually gave me a lump in my throat. You are such a fine writer, my friend. I wish you well in this contest, but remember...in my eyes, you ARE gold. Love, Lane


  • Gwenevere
    June 23
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    Excellent

    You have touched my heart with this poem.It must be so hard to see someone you love dereriirate before your eyes and I know that it happens to many.

    <