Creation swirls in iridescent shades within my womb,
And a joy builds and trembles in my throat.
A new, autonomous being is about to begin this awesome journey,
My child, my beloved, whom I will nurture the rest of my life and beyond.
This is not a duty or a burden I must bare, heavy on my shoulders,
For they will be my universe, expanding and growing with each breath.
Delighting me and filling me with my greatest mirth and my deepest despair,
With their every little smile and every shining tear that falls.
I bless you my little one, the strongest bond will be ours,
For there is no greater love than a mother's for her child.
A contest entry
- hey this is my first quickie by Aliya Abbas.
300 points, ended June 29, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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excellent~
Perfect for the prompt
Love the imagery and such sweet and loving words...
Love the pic too
Best of luck in the contest
Hugs
Susan~~~
I have up one new one it's titles not a poem
Drop by when ya can
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Hoodwinked
Awww this is so sweet. I really like the picture/ I like your unique use of metaphors. The first verse really caught my attention. -
Hoodwinked!
It sounds like you are speaking of an inner desire that you want to realize. I hope you find that dream.
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Several things about this piece caught my eye. Firstly; your use of the word ‘and’ was a bit heavy, I feel you could definitely eliminate about half or more of said word. Secondly; The form is a bit condensed and heavy, so I feel that it should be separated into stanzas as its present appearance looks to be more prose than anything and is rather difficult to digest. Thirdly; on the last
line, ‘mothers’ implies a group of mothers, not possessive like,’ mother’s.’ Other than that, this has the potential of being an even better piece providing that the afore mentioned ‘suggestions’ be implemented.
Sincerely,
mj.
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So Endearing.......
Is the love a mother has for her child. I love this it is just so serene and peaceful and full of love straight from your heart how lucky your little ones will be to have you for a mother as so many are abused or neglected and considered an intrusion of a mother's career these days. You show God image of a mother's love for her child here with your amazing words of love spoken softly and gently!!!Thanks for sharing with me!!!~~Toni~~
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I do so adorn children and wish deeply that I could have had a child, but the Lord has other plans. Sometimes, we must, in faith, follow blindly his lead. I appreciate you taking the time to read and understand my little poem.
BLESSINGS, Doris
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i am afraid i cant include u in fainal list coz i asked for 30 words or less.
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Very sweet and true. Great job. And Best of Luck!!
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Thanks for your kind words.
BLESSINGS, Doris
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a lovely bond
until the end I thought it was about God
and how much he loves us,
amazing how much we are of his image.
lovely write
God bless...
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You really got it....I am not a mother, though I surely wish I was, so I took my view of the BOND from how the Lord would look upon us with so much love. Thank you for you sweet comments.
BLESSINGS, Doris
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This is just beautiful and speaks of the amazing feelings we have for our children. It is a bond like no other. Nice write! Blessings,Patty
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Patty, I am so glad you enjoyed my poem. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it.
BLESSINGS, Doris
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a very cute poem.
I bless you my little one, the strongest bond will be ours,
For there is no greater love than a mothers for her child
these lines are mind blowing.
thanx for entering.
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