A young man
sits alone
by the sea,
under the stars,
watched by the moon...
Looking up,
he sees the stars,
tiny shiny specks of light,
drifting into a day dream,
they seem to form the face
of a beautiful woman...
But then her eyes sparkle
more than the rest of her face,
the maiden disappears
and the man stirs.
A star remains to outshine all the rest,
then its glitter begins to grow
"Is it falling?
Is it a shooting star?"
He wonders to himself.
Its light becomes too strong
and reluctantly
he closes his eyes.
As he opens them again,
he sees the most wondrous being
he has ever or could ever lay eyes on.
A shiny white horse body,
with a silvery-white horn on its head.
massive white wings emerging from it back
and its mane and tail, a strong passionate pink.
Awed and stunned,
he continues to look,
to wonder and to contemplate.
A blinding flash!
He opens his eyes to see
a Beauty he knows so well,
his dream, dressed in white silk
and wearing a small simple crown.
"How can this be?"
He asks.
"With you,
I am a Unicorn,
I am a Princess,
I need no knight
in shining armor,
I need you!
You awaken my soul
and my whole being .
With you at my side,
I shine and sparkle,
I am the most beautiful
Night Star.
With you at my side,
I am a princess.
With you at my side,
I can be so much more!"
Stunned still, but recovering,
he touches her lips gently
then kisses them softly.
He feels naught beneath his feet,
as if he were flying,
yet he does not cease kissing her,
for be she a dream or reality,
he does not want her to disappear
even for a short second.
He does not want to leave her,
he does not want to wake up!
By: Nada Adel Sobhi
Author notes
if you can provide a title be my guest.. if not.. not a problem.. the unicorn has a certain mane and tail colour because this the recurrent character i use in many of my poems when i feel special or powerful..
It is the first time for me to write in the present.. so how does that turn out?
Also, the ending is an open ending.. or do u disagree?
ALL COMMENTS ARE WELCOME THOUGH IF U R NEGATIVE PUT IT DECENTLY
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is a nice poem. It's an original theme. Or rather, it's a love poem with an original twist to it. I remember reading somewhere that unicorns were associated with virgins and were considered symbols of the risen Christ. Mainly known for their purity. There is a kind of innocence in this that seems to go along with that theme.
I noticed that there is a contest for fantasy poems. If its still running, you should definitely submit this poem to it. -
But then her eyes sparkle
more than the rest of her face,
very very cute poem.
i enjoyed it immensely.
i think the exclamation point at the end of the last line makes it seem juvenile, but that is only my opinion so only take it as constructive criticism, not negativity
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very good
I like this The tilte could be his star but that's just my opion but great write very fascinating
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A beautiful write...Unfortuantly I cannot think of a title, maybe something to do with stars.
The ending is very sudden but it does ignite many thoughts.
Thanks for sharing!
~lae
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I think the ending is final, but that is my opinion as far as a title goes...Paegan Star...not sure of the spelling, but it is just a suggestion...all in all it is a beautiful piece of work. The imagery was breathtaking. Great write. ~mandie~
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Well I love fantasy, so this story is to my liking While reading, when I got to the Night Star part, I immediately thought that should be the title, it embodies the poem as a whole since she is generally what it's about...just my opinion
I think I would agree that the ending is open ended...it could certainly carry on, and it definitely makes you think about what is going to happen, or what could happen...and if this is your first time writing in the present, well, I think you did completely fine!
Your details provided awesome imagery for the reader!
♥
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