In a darkened room,
a child is stripped bare
of his dignity.
In a darkened room,
innocence is sacrificed,
for the sake of quenching
the lustful thirst
of a soul depraved.
In a darkened room,
the memoirs of twisted passion,
wait patiently to be bought and sold.
In a darkened room,
though many years have passed,
shame and torment still surround him
and invade his nightly dreams.
In a darkened room,
with pain so utter,
this child at the end of his rope,
silently discovers ultimate freedom.
Author notes
20 lines or less (my line count - 19 lines of text).
Prompt: song lyrics from "In A Darkened Room" by Skid Row
"In a darkened room,
beyond the reach of God's faith,
lies the wounded,
the shattered remains
of love betrayed.
And the innocence
of a child
is bought and sold,
in the name of the damned,
the rage of the angels,
left silent and cold."
[Note: not written about my life or someone close to me, just my expression that the tragedy of child abuse in any form is that the trauma it creates can exist in the shadows well beyond the act itself]
In a list
A contest entry
- 2,000 Point Contest!!! by High Flyer.
2000 points, ended July 11, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want dark, I want pain, infect me! by Meroza.
600 points, ended August 13, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Detailed critique welcome
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is an interesting write. Quite dark and it does touch something within me.
Best of luck -
This write was well thought out. There are so many meanings behind a darkened room.
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the worst crimes never see the light of day. Powerful take on the song's theme, taken a step further. I'm a little confused by the final stanza: it seems to suggest the child takes his own life, perhaps with a rope. But I'm not absolutely sure. The contest rules may require it, but I'm also troubled by your author note, which explains the "detached observer" viewpoint of the speaker in this poem. I'm "big" on anchoring a poem with specifics these days, so would like to see more. I do like the repeating lines which give structure to this piece, and get the most out of the 20 lines allowed.
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thanks for the honst critique as always, you are correct in the assumption at the end although the character is no longer a child, his mind is locked within the childhood trauma, sadly like many seeing it as the only escape.
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This is so sad and something that needs to be brought to the attention of the World
You penned a brilliant piece here, Cuz so filled with emotion and reality in every line
Biggest
Lynda
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wow daddy this is a powerful and very important poem.. yes child abuse in any form can destroy a child literally. I've been there, I'm finally free. and it feels wonderful daddy..
there are always angels watching over us, no matter what
happens.. my angels are my family on here and my friends too.
excellent poem daddy..
I Love You
kat
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