The day he left she gave him a little heart locket,
he cried on her shoulder and slipped it into his pocket,
she was only 4 and had no clue,
as to where he was going or about to do,
drive by bullets killing 16,
the cops were too late getting to the scene,
the news show came on and her mother just cried,
she had no idea that her daddy had died,
the day she found out with tears in her eyes,
she ran to her room and she cried and she cried.
Father daughter dance for the whole town,
every year the event got her down,
she would stay in her room in pitch black, alone,
and cry by herself until her mother got home,
her mother knew, and she understood,
that her father had been a gangster with a heart filled with good,
but she didnt know and she never would,
about her fathers attempt to save her childhood.
Getting married today to a man who's named Kyle,
she had no one to walk her down the aisle,
weddings were supposed to be the happiest days,
but without her daddy the whole world was gray,
she promised herself her children would always be safe,
but they would have no idea about the sacrifice made,
by their father the gangster who got shot and who died,
by a drive by bullet,
their mother grief stricken, commited suicide.
A contest entry
- Give me the emotion I want from you. by LivingxXxProof.
800 points, ended June 24, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Break my heart and make me cry by God is my reality.
900 points, ended August 11, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 339 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do the rhymes sound forced anywhere?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Oh my gosh, this is so good. It is not what I was looking for but something completely different and something completely good. I loved it. I could totally feel the pain, and well. I"m almost crying it's so good. I absolutely loved it!
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OMG!!! This is freakin' awesome. The powerful emotion and vivid imagery drew me in and kept me there right up to the end. I do hope this is purely fictional though. I could really feel this poem. The flow was great and the rhyme amazing. This had my eyes filled with tears.
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Great right i so lovers it alot. Good job.:]]]xxx..ShellyI lovers U!! -
Wow this was lovely and sad. The rhyme and flow was perfect, plus the storyline was perfect. It was interesting and creative.
Nice job...and good luck in the contest
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sweet
i loved it the rhymes were great and the way it is told lets the reader understand it fully, great write
~Bina~
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gah your poems are always so descriptive and storylike its amazing i bet you could write a good story for a book in poem form you should try it i bet youd do great
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