Hands down on cooling metal
Eyes bleak, standing out and looking inward
and when parched lips open
all that can be found escaping
Is the wisp of dry air and deceased emotion
Hands open to the wind,
pulling on the spiritual tug of the ground
beneath my feet, and regaining nothing
in return
A feeling tucked away within a feeling
tucked away within...
Nothing is left here
Walking in a gray nuetral place,
pillars high and crumbling
Leaves breaking, rotted logs filled with maggots
that leave an aching trail behind of memories
This is our day to day feeling
Hands grasping one anothers'
Hands searching, looking, even though the pads of our fingers
have been scarred away
So everything we touch, Feels like...
Nothing
Author notes
...
A contest entry
- 3 MOS. Gold MEMBERSHIP-updated to 600 points! and feature, Prompt: APATHY- Give Dark Writing a Try... by ears2hearyou.
1300 points, ended July 10, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
i like this one
especially the last lines:
so everything we touch, feels like...
nothing -
Vivid portrayal of the claws of Apathy.
cleverly written...i like you how mis-placed and
twisted the simile's and metaphor emotions..wise
to do...gave your poem an interesting voice...that
created curiosity...where do you suppose this poet
is leading us....oh, your words ache us ...well done!
the drain of muscles pain dripping apathy...only to
leave us deceased into nothing.
(1 hour of CNN and i'm back to spitting again!
lol)
loved your poem!
vivid portrayal of the aching of apathy dissolving us
into ...nothing.
ears/Seattle good writing..
your second "within" good easily be turned into
without....neutral..is mispelled...but hey..i can
overlook it because you took a good deep dive into
your portrayal!
ears/Seattle
-
nice, your poems always leave me with a mental vidio, i love the way you describe things...☻
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