I may be young and my heart is seen wicked with its blood
Tainted with the innocent words
You’re lies nearly made me pray like when I was a child
Such a path to salvation is obsidian in its way
And if nothing else I’ll choose to burn
Before I'll let you bury me
If nothing else I’ll die with open eyes
I have wept with the stars and but never seen your god
Praise the rape is all I can see in my earthly soul
Cadence words I used to know like my heartbeat in my breast
Now sounds like serpents to suffering Adam’s ears
And if nothing else I’ll choose to burn
Before I'll let you bury me
If nothing else I’ll die with open eyes
Take your gold and silver leave me with the wind
I and the mountains stand as one
Hear my screams of how I would burn rather than you bury me
Why punish flesh when it is gone
I Choose To Burn
I Choose To Burn
Author notes
Dedicated to pete
we love like the god and goddess love this earth, unconditionally and forever
i got this idea when i had to take my little brother to mass for the first time in years as a favor for my mum who had to work.it was summer solstice the night before and i did ritual with friends. as i watched the mass i saw how much had been raped from pagan ritual, i feel abused but strong as i know i will always be pagan and never go back to that Christianity.
Venom of a thousand needles
A contest entry
- Darkwrite Extravaganza Season II, Round IV by Immortal Obscurity.
300 points, ended July 1, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness by HiddenByTheDark.
330 points, ended July 23, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poems About God by Michael H..
400 points, ended August 11, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ** Deep Options to Meet some Great Poets!** by City-of-Angels.
500 points, ended September 14, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your most very personal poetry♥ by innocence jaded.xx.
475 points, ended September 7, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best! by Priest Winter.
450 points, ended September 16, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLD SHORTS 1 by Swan song.
2000 points, ended October 18, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - God, Faith, Bitterness and Learning to Overcome by Away From the Sun.
700 points, ended November 12, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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really nice.
i love the wording in this!
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A wonderful write.
My husband is Wiccan. He says that there are "neuvo Wiccans" and people who have been Wiccan since the beginning of time.
I guess you'd have to know me. I'd never "rape" you of your faith nor belittle you for thinking differently than I do.
Lord knows, in my own household we have Wiccans, Buddhists, Atheists, Agnostics, Jehovah Witnesses, Mormons, Christians, Catholics, Muslims...I am speaking of CLOSE family, like my hubby and my kids, not strangers! I love them all and their differences in Faith make no difference to ME...as I can see a bridge between them all.
And I love them all for WHO they are.
THAT is what my contest was about...tell me what you believe and why, make me feel your faith!
I thank you for your lovely entry...and for being so very gracious.
Much love,
Debbie
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This was a very well done peice and would of done very well in my contest as well as the toher entries, it would of been so hard to judge because so many of you did so amazing.
The pain and heartache in this is so strong and you have such a justified reason behind all of it. YOu did great and i hope to see more of your amazing work.
This contest was closed by the admin's because religious people were offended by it. I guess my next contest will be "Burn the witches" and we'll see how they reply to that.
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Intence!
Willing effort ... bravo!
Peace be yours to claim.
~ James ~
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Thank you for your entry. Very well-written.
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Very powerful
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You write about a touchy subject but make a very powerful point to it with little to no fear of expressing it which is very noble of you. :] I must say I enjoyed this even if the lines were a tad too long for my taste part of the time but oh well.
It's god to know there are some out there other than myself willing to stand against those who stole so much from the Lord and Lady.
By the Lady, Blessed be.
~Winter~
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Wow, this is a really great poem. Kudos to you for picking such a tough and powerful subject, too! You definitely deserved gold!
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Very well written ! The only mistake I found is in the first stanza "you're" should be "your" because it's not possessive. Otherwise, this poem had no other mistakes that I could see of ! Wonderfully penned. I love the meaning across this poem. Thanks for entering & good luck ! ♥
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Very unique, I love the repetition.
"Why punish flesh when it is gone"
Powerful message right there.
I've always been curious about paganism for some reason. My older sister has been a pagan for awhile. Isn't that ironic in my case? My parents raised us as devout christians and my older bro is athiest, sister is pagan..and I'm slowly going athiest. Won't daddy be proud LOL
Anyway..powerful message, great write
Thanks for entering and good luck
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I love the flow and deepness of this poem. I am sorry about how you feel against Christianity though. I myself am a Christian (but hey, I am not offended what so ever about this poem. I actually agree and like it!! I wrote something similar "Save Yourself(Church of the Sin)" ). I HATE religion and religious idiots of any kind actually. Been scarred one too many times...
Greatness!
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This is very powerful to me. I like how you have taken a stand here on what you believe. Anyone who would choose to burn over Christianity is pretty strong in what they believe. Me myself, I seem to be headed down that same path. I have recently rejected Christianity and I'm not sure where I stand with this God thing right now. I want to die with my eyes open also. This is definitely one of the best poems here. I like how you repeated at the end "I chose to burn"
I also liked your description of how you have wept with stars but never seen your God. Good stuff. Thank you for entering my contest. I really enjoyed this. -
honestly, i didnt know what to expect when i saw your title. i love how you completely embroaced the spirit of free will with your well chosen and geniously thought of words. you have conveyed a very deep message that people need to stay true to themselves and not let anything make thwm falter from their path. if its ok with you i would like to add this poem to my ever growing list of favorites that i keep on my page, please let me know if this is ok with you.
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I'm not a fan of Christianity at the moment, nor of paganism--I consider all religions to be false.
I felt your grammar was a bit suspect in this at times, mostly with these two parts:
"You’re lies nearly made me pray like when I was a child" -- In addition to "you're" being used improperly ("your" would be the correct term here), this line's a bit clunky. It'd probably read better if you cut out the "like when I was" part and just put in "as" or something.
"I have wept with the stars and but never seen your god" -- I get the feeling you forgot to get rid of "and" after finishing the line.
I dunno, it's alright, but I've read better.
Maybe my standards are too high, though. -
I really love this poem of yours.. I too have reasons why I no longer to ever go back to Christianity as well, so I felt that I could relate to this piece you have written. excellent job.
these are my favorite lines:
And if nothing else I’ll choose to burn
Before I'll let you bury me
If nothing else I’ll die with open eyes
excellent job with this.
good luck in the contest
kat
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"And if nothing else I’ll choose to burn/Before I'll let you bury me/If nothing else I’ll die with open eyes..."
That was my favourite line, and your poem was pretty awesome overall. It's for reasons like yours that I don't really have a religion at the moment. I say, take the good from everything and throw the rest away.
I'm not sure that your use of 'cadence' is correct, but even so, you have done a fine job. Well done, and good luck!
Laura
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very nicely done, and a strong but sturdy statement it makes!
Christianity or, more particularly, Catholicism today is nothing but a bed of - raped lies, as you accurately portray. They stole everything, even christmas, from other religions, to introduce their own. This blasphemy is nothing to do with poor Jesus, nor even the true Lord, for Lord as they know it is not even nearly correct, and it annoys me beyond belief how cocky a madeup relion actually is.
One day, these people will awaken till the truth but I do not hold my breath, only nourish my soul the way it deserves, stupid mediaval fools....
again, magnificent write, and best of luck in the contest
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This is rather deep and speaks with such a powerful voice.
Good luck in the challenge
**Ktulu Blackwolfe**
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woooh..
this is powerful!
for some reason...the poem paradise lost comes to mind...epic poem!
I really like your repetition, it reinforces the firms stance you've taken.
I had to read it twice
best of luck in the contest dear
~Ptolema
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