We are all the victims of a evil holy war
America will lead the mass destruction of the poor
Rich people are the only ones with freedom anymore
Opression of the people to protect them is an error
Now I see that your war is in fact a war OF terror
Freedom of expression guaranteed, if you can pay
Right to jury trial, always being chipped away
Everyone with darker skin observed quite closely by the law
Ever since the towers fell we've closed in on 1984
Death is spread around the world by you, the superpowers
Oblivious to anything but vengence for the towers
Murder and fear was their way, so why've you made it ours?
Author notes
The war on terror is a war on our freedoms, we cannot let our fundamental freedoms continue to be eroded under the guise of protecting us from terrorists. The real terrorists are the US, UK governments, murdering innocents across the world, and the media, determined to keep us scared.
A contest entry
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Silver trophy winner
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Bronze trophy winner
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Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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excellent. i agree so much with everything you said.
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For once, a fairly decent acrostic. Practically all the others I have read have been complete tosh, but the form hasn't damaged or changed what you wanted to say, or more importantly as the poet, you haven't let it do that so well done.
Blaming America seems to be a get-out clause at the moment. But I can think of many, many other places far worse. I really like the pun changing "War On Terror" to "War Of Terror" and think you should save it for the poem and not use it as the title as that seems to be the ace card of the poem and you don't want to reveal your best hand before the reader has even started. Well that's my point of view anyway, it may not be yours.
Good reference to 1984.
Maybe you could change the use of the first "towers" to something else as you say it again in the next line and it would probably be easier to change the first one because the next line depends on "towers" for the rhyme.
Excellent searching question at the end. I read this before and was impressed, but reading it again I am even more so. You have done a really good job in expressing yourself. Most of the stuff I have had so far is just rant without rhyme or reason, whereas this has both in equal measure! So thank you for entering. Bravo.
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Gorgous poem
Normally I'm not a big fan of acrostics but you made this really work. Some people may not agree with the general message but I'd have to. I've done sooo much research on this topic and its pretty scary. I need to do a bit more but from what I've learned, I'm pretty angry lol. Nice poem i love 1984 by the way
orwell rocks face!
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wow!!
awesome! -
Engaging
This piece is so fraught with meaning it took my breath awaay "murder and fear was their way, so why've we made it ours?" That line is the humdinger. It really brings the piece home. I love it. I partially agree with your statements in the author's notes. Our government is continuing this war and causing terror to vindicate themselves. Some kind of macho power statement, but I must disagree with the uk and us doing it under a guise. ~mandie~
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I don't agree with your author notes, nor do i agree with the message of the poem itself. However, it's written pretty well and flows nicely.
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I do not agree with the fundedemental premise of your poem as explained in the authors notes. However I do see a general erosion in rights that should be reversed.
From a technical aspect - the poem is very good. Great acrostic form, excellent rhyming. You easily presented your thoughts on the subject in a way that was not forced. Despite the fact that I do not agree with the basic premise of the poem, it is very well crafted.
Great job.
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Excellent
Wow, an incredibly thoughtful commentary. I liked the way you expressed yourself on this one. Perhaps, you might like a poem which I wrote: "Blues of Night".
Here's a link to it: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4301709
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