Moonlit beach laid out before,
Naught but sand and surf I see;
Cool offshore breeze in my face,
Footprints the only sign of me.
But not alone for long am I,
The restlessness when were apart;
This rendezvous in silence kept,
Words spoken just by our heart.
The gentle breeze plays at your hair,
The dull red lit in a moonlight glow;
Your sparkling eyes follow my form,
Compared to which the stars can’t show.
A smile plays now at your lips,
As along beside me now you walk;
My gaze spellbound, your beauty's trance,
As our shadows still behind us stalk.
Ivory skin perfectly toned,
Beside me moves with perfect grace;
You pull me tight not letting go,
Walking along in close embrace.
Luscious curves pleasing to eye,
Your body shown bare next to mine;
Every inch I'm taking in,
Utter beauty defined sublime.
Reaching up around my neck,
Up on tiptoes you have to stand ;
I’m drawn in with a sultry kiss,
All resistance left melts in the sand.
Our passions burn and guiding our fate,
Actions made, our love to show;
On this beach to consummate,
Until horizons begins to glow.
Author notes
SOmetimes the best inspiration can be your own dreams. This isnt the first time that I have used my dreams as an inspiration for my poetry but I do believe this is the best that I have ever done as far as writing a dream in poetic form. I hope you enjoy it. It was written June 22nd 2008.
In a list
A contest entry
- Write down your most exciting dream, in the form of a poem.POINTS WILL DOUBLE IF I GET ENOUGH ENTRIES, SO GET YOUR FRIENDS TO ENTER.pw pw pw by PoeticLove.
1200 points, ended September 1, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 54 of 54
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Thanks
This was very touching and had great visuals. good luck in my contest.
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Thank you and good luck judging it. you have some tough chooices to make coming up.
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i want your dreams then.
if this was based on a dream. i want more like this one
lovely work. nicely written.
i wanna go there
thanks for your entry.
best wishes and best of luck! -
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Oh this wasnt even the whole dream. but my girlfriend at the time really was the muse between alot of my dreams and they quit when we split.
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:)
i still love this piece -
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I'm glad you did.
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Thank you for your entry in our contest. An interesting, romantic poem with a good rhyme scheme, but some of the lines let the poem down but not flowing well.
Please join us in future contest...Sue and Jeff
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Thanks Ms Sue.
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The rhyme scheme and imagery were amazing! I just love the story told. I actually fell in love on the beach and this reminded me of my sweet Luis. I loved this so very much. Good luck in the contests. Great poem. I think you must have some very wonderful dreams.
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I have a great imagination and sometimes it translates into very real feeling dreams. But alass many of my rather awesome dreams are interupted by my alarm clock telling me its time for work.
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the imagery was amazing
I loved how intone you attract the reader
I would love to read more of your work someitme
thanks for entering
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If you go to my page I have all the poems sorted in groups. It should make it easier to find what you want to read. I'm glad you enjoyed me poem though. thanks for the comment.
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Lovely poem, scenic as if i were tour=ing
thank you for this entry
good luck
Linda
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I like to try bringing people to the place that I'm writing about. in this case my dreams. I thinkink I ma getting fairly good at it. Thank you for the comment and I'm glad you enjoyed reading the poem.
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this is your category
I've read about this contest, and I must admit, you're quite a shoe-in, the way you write romance
- you have a very light touch. -
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I write romance well dont dont have much of it in my life. Kind of odd I guess. I think what it is thought is I am getting good at getting people to feel what I'm writing and romance is probably one of the easiest for people to feel.
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This is really good, Daniel. I am proud of you as well and the great thing about this poem is that it paints a pic in the readers mind. So beautifully and well done, my friend.
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Thats what I like to do. I try with all of my poemts to get the reader to see what I'm writting or to feel it. I want someone to experiance my poems not just read them.
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Simple and Sweet
A very nice scene you have painted. I enjoyed the read Good luck in the contests.
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Thank you
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wow
omg jaq this is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! you did so well on this hun.. ow baby hittin me... anyway keep up the great work!!
XxoxX
Rose
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Thanks Rose. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
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nice
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Thank you
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Great images - I absolutely love the beach and you really captured the beauty embodied in it. Very sweet message as well, and good rhyming scheme.
I'm not certain the choice to capitalize the first word of every line is the best for this particular poem, but that may just be a personal styling choice.
My only other suggestion would be, if you like that is, to add a few more tactile images - something the reader can really sink their teeth into. It really is beautiful the way it is, but I think the impact would be even more powerful if there were a few moments that just pull the reader into the scene. Just a thought.
Good job
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This poem is the pinacle of my ability as a poet. I wish I could improve it. Thank you for the sudgestions though. i will see if I can try implementing them in my poem.
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Beautiful, simply beautiful. I loved the passion and love you put in this poem. Loved all the visuals I got while reading it too, this poem is just amazing. Good luck in the contest!
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Thank You I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope I do well in the contest but i feel slightly overmated by the skill of some of the other poets in the contest.
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Gentle, and soft. Sensuous write. Very well penned, and full of imagery. Good luck in your contest.
Tish
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks. I doubt I'll do ver well in the contest as some of the other writers that I know will be entering are wery good writers.
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Beautifully written, and nice and gentle, not racy. I like it. I especially liked
"A smile plays now at your lips,
As along beside me now you walk;
My gaze spellbound, your beauty's trance,
As our shadows still behind us stalk.
Ivory skin perfectly toned,
Beside me moves with perfect grace;
You pull me tight not letting go,
Walking along in close embrace."
Brilliant poem!
. Rewarded 8
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Thank you. I did the best I could to make it as natural as I could without it coming off as being overbearing or racy like you said. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Pefect Imagery
I can picture it all on that beach. You've used such romantic language that it sticks to you as you read on;
"The gentle breeze plays at your hair,
The dull red lit in a moonlight glow;
Your sparkling eyes follow my form,
Compared to which the stars can’t show."
The rhyming in this poem is not cheap at all, but well constructed and used very unique words to rhyme. I wish I was in the romantic scene like this. A beautiful write taht is beyond sensual; 8.5/10!
. Rewarded 8
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Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. This one was actually somewhat easy to write. It suprised me.
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wow! this was sooooo good! I loved it!
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Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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"But not alone for long am I" phases like this keep me puzzled and I can't say I understood it all but I do like the last line Until horizons glow but as for the line before that not so much. Kayla
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But I am not alone for long. Its the same line just with the words rearranged.
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that was beautiful, a very well writen peice, there was such love and passion and i realy liked the way it flowed, such great imgery, nice write and good luck
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Thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Great job
I love poems about the beach, Hawaii, romance, etc. This one is awesome. You done such a great job. I can picture the burning passion. You really are on the ball on this piece. Great job and keep that pen flowing.
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks for the comment and i am glad that you enjoyed the poem.
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Oh my god.
This is definately my favorite poem you have EVER written. Favorite stanzas were:
The gentle breeze plays at your hair,
The dull red lit in a moonlight glow;
Your sparkling eyes follow my form,
Compared to which the stars can’t show
Luscious curves pleasing to eye,
Your body shown bare next to mine;
Every inch I'm taking in,
Utter beauty defined sublime.
Reaching up around my neck,
Up on tiptoes you have to stand ;
I’m drawn in with a sultry kiss,
All resistance left melts in the sand
I friken LOVE that./ Especially the last one. Love it love it love it love it. So much intimacy in this poem I absolutely love it. Love IT like you have NO idea.
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Thanks. Apearently this one is rather popular. I appreciate the comment and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Ooo - this is very sensual,
I love it.
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I have a wonderful muse and very tender feelings for her so it really came easy.
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Beautifully done, very tender and sensual
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Thanks Gypse. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thans for the help.
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Aww this was really sweet hun.. The flow was really nice and smooth and the imagery was just really romantic and sweet.. You may not find it good but I really like it.. You did a wonderful job.. Best of luck hun..
Angel
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Thanks. Appearently it is somewhat good according to the people that read it. I dont really like the ending but its the best way i could find to end it. If i had gone farther with it it would have ended up in the adult catagory and i was trying to avoid that.
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But why?! you do so well in that catagory..
and the ending was perfect for it..
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Its really just something I dont like writing. It seems generic and cliche to me. Maybe it would help if I had the experiance to write about but I dont. In time I'll get more comfortanle with it but unless I'm really needing to write it for some reason i probably wont.
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I can understand that.. I felt the same way.. I just couldn't really write it at all though, until I got the hang of it..lol. now I like it.. but then again I'm a girl.. But your also a romantic as well. and you can really romanice with that kind of writing sometimes..
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Guilty... I am a bit of a romantic. I dont really like the erotic poetry that much although sensual I do enjoy. I just really dont like writing either one.
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