"i laugh, i cry, i couldn't fly,
i talk to the dead," says he.
White walls surround him, he twirls,
he whirls, around the padded room,
"trying to fly?" says I.
"I'm a pretty boy, handsome fellow,
i can fly, i know, the voices tell me so,"
says he.
"Pretty boy, yes" he sings, then flings,
his body across the padded room, "God,
should have given me wings." says I.
He leaps, the juts up into the air,
he disappears "he flew!" says I
I giggle, then laugh, "he wished for wings,"
I sing...
a nurse comes in,
"Time for your medicine," says she.
Author notes
Im not sure if this is what this contest is about. But it is done in a different style so hopefully this is what you are looking for.
A contest entry
- dialogue by zillion.
600 points, ended June 29, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Proudly Presenting: ROUND 1 by Walk-Free.
1000 points, ended August 31, 2008, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No rules just Write by catalyst..
320 points, ended September 22, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
this is very awesome
this song escape is coolo cute and funny, I just really love, and I hope you have a great day.
Love Sakura Avalon
-
= )
when i say i love this poem, i mean i love it. it was beautiful. the way you wrote it was great. [ i look forward to reading more of your poems ]
-
i love this poem!!! i picture two young kids in a mental institution just having fun, but even then you can see their playing goes far beyond imagination
-
Oh very well done...love where you took this and the ending is just perfect.
Well done.
-
I picture a young girl smiling with vacant eyes but she ages still smiling with vacant eyes, living in a world of her own.
loved where you took me into the mind..kudos!
-
-
*hug
Thank you sis. I haven't heard from you in awhile how are you??
-
-
I love this ^^ I've always thought maybe insanity might be fun, though I guess it depends on what kind it is xD Your point is really well illustrated!
Eph -
I love the lightheartedness of this. That insanity is not people bashing their brains out and seeing people come after them, but that they can be some of the happiest, sanest people you'll ever meet
-
-
Im glad you like this one. Sometimes the crazier people are the ones who try to act like they are sane
You said you liked the lightheartedness of this piece? Im glad because its the kind of tone this poem was meant to be. Thanks for commenting, appreciate it.
-
-
haha
I like that the end of this poem was light and airy. the imagery was awesome and it felt a little scarey in the bginning.
This was a sensitive poem which made it sweet at the same time.
good luck!!
transit~
-
you have captured something most of us are afraid to notice..this is a great piece. i love the ending line; it dropped and made everything clearer. great work here.
-
-
hehe thanks, i dont get very many comments on this poem so i appreciate it.
-
-
it is certainly different. Us humans sure are obsessed with insanity, aren't we? There's something dark and humorous about it.
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
