under watchful eyes of death's domain
heavenly concern follows traipsing steps
she frolics amidst the glow of nature's essence
an endless field of marigold dreams
no longer hearing the mechanical whirring,
the beeps and buzzes of life prolonging science
or the agonizing pain which consumed her entirely
damped only by the myriad of chemicals
that were pumped through her veins
now feeling the wind tugging gracefully
at long flowing hair that had been gone for ages
feeling the sensation of grass and flowers brushing her skin
she fades into the dream so much more serene...
...then reality
Author notes
Opt.7 Life
original contest...
option 8
http://i29.tinypic.com/inan2h.jpg
A contest entry
- Pic Prompt: FANTASY & DARK Part I by Rinoasis.
600 points, ended July 13, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOTS OF OPTIONS! by Shenanigans.
700 points, ended November 23, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your best! by Forgotten Anomaly.
1000 points, ended November 10, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Very descriptive, very well writen. You paint a beautiful picture in this peice. Thank you for entering my contest.
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AWESOME!! A beautiful picture of the end to suffering. Powerful imagery and subject. I wouldn't change a thing. Great work, and good luck in the contest! --Shannon
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wow this is amazing i loved it well done on a gr8 writeofflimits
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This was so beautiful and very deserving of the Gold. Congratulations and God Bless, Jo-Ann
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Wow this was something Very well composed and very very lovely thank you for entering
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nice
nicely penned . . liked "an endless field of marigold dreams" and "she fades into the dream so much more serene" . . congrats on the trophy
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First off let me tell you congrats on the gold. Much deserved. This piece paints such a calm serene feeling. Freeing one of all the chaos that comes from the realities of today and setting them free within the life of what should be. Freeing from death the soul to be reborn once again into the world of youth and beauty. Wonderful job here..and again congrats on the gold. Much deserved.
This piece gave me life within darkness...
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this was lovely. such great imagery as well
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How amazingly beautiful! Well done on the Gold, my dear...this write makes me feel so peaceful as I read for it reminds me of my grandmother and her last days in the hospital...I stayed with her until she past and I saw the peace upon her face and new she was young again and had no more pain...she was running free in her summer dress in a feild of flowers with my grandfather holding her hand...thank you for the warm and wonderful moment of forgotten peace...this is truly beautiful...
Congrat's on the well desrevered Gold...such lovely imagery and soft flow...I did not even need to see the picture to feel and understand your words...
Love,
:
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The title is interesting, it immediately caught my eye!
I love these lines:
"she frolics amidst the glow of nature's essence
an endless field of marigold dreams"
The whole poem sounds very dreamy and somewhat otherworldly which I absolutely love! I smiled when I read "no longer hearing the mechanical whirring" and the following lines because I can relate to that! Sometimes I get so tired of being in a city I just wish I could escape to the country-side. I get this inner urge to run among fields of flowers or wheat or sit in a flowery meadow in nature.
So basically this girl in your poem.. it was only a dream? Wow, interesting ending!
Thanks for entering my contest!
Blessings & Light,
~Evolet
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aww huggles my dear bro this shines with promise and peace. the imagery is overflowing as one can truly visualise all the experiences and activity of thought and emotion that exudes from within. I can see feel and hear the sensory experiences as your words takes me on this journey. many blessings always xxx
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