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Irrational

broke
for what i do not have
oblivious
of what i have

looked west in morning
without turning east,
disappointed,
turned east evening,
missed sun both times

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • DemonSpit
    August 29
    Edit | Reply
    nothing special...
    the last stanza is okay
    and its a good length

  • whos my humblepie
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    This may be wishful thinking, but this sounds to me like infatuation.
    You feel you need something out of your grasp, feel so strongly you do, that you do not see what is there.
    You turn West longing to find what you wish to have, not looking behind, not wanting to face what you already have. Maybe, to avoid feelings of guilt?
    Finally, you view the East realizing that what was there once, is no longer.
    Your urgency is so strong, for the moment this is MY favorite piece of poetry.


  • Sandal
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    I missed the good parts, through dwelling on the bad parts. This poem is a concise sum of human nature.
    Good luck!