Rampaging through the heavens
never stopping day or night,
a spectacle of a lifetime
a comet in full flight.
Faster than a cheetah
with a tail that's miles long,
bigger than a mountain
so powerful and strong.
The outer ice is melting
causing vapour from the force,
and leaves a trail behind it
as it travels on it's course.
If one should come too close to earth
the atmophere will shake,
with shockwaves reaching to the ground
causing the land to quake.
Scientists say the chemicals
in the dust they leave behind,
could have started life on earth
which resulted in mankind.
I cannot say if this is true
I do not have the right,
but I know no better spectacle
than a comet in full flight.
A contest entry
- Mysteries of the Universe by enitsirhC.
555 points, ended July 2, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre Written Rhyme by Piccola.
600 points, ended July 9, 40 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymed prewrites only ... by ecrivain01.
800 points, ended July 31, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - imagery! (of whatever you like) =] by sora..
450 points, ended August 11, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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haha i love a nice portion of rhyme!
[mainly due to the fact that i suck at rhyme...>_<]
this is great, i loved:
"Rampaging through the heavens"
good work!
=] -
Not bad ...
if a trifle simplistic -- the rhyme, I mean.
All in all, though, this is a fairly credible job. No gaffes here at all.
Thanks for entering. -
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on The Comet
Thank you very much, I appreciate it
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yes, I have witnessed this phenomenon and find it mesmerizing. Thinking one could be dangerous is ... well, to find danger in such beauty and such power is mind-boggling. Thank you for your entry
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Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have penned in here.
I like poems about the universe that are kind of like thinking poems. What I mean is where you are pondering greater thoughts and ideas instead of just what's going on in your life right now. That's what I like best about humans. It's our curiousity that I think brings the best out of us, you know? I thought you did a good job with this.
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Wonderful
I can see it streaming across the night sky! Wonderful rhyme and flow. As usual I can't resist reading you. And I'm never disappointed!
Regards,
Jennifer
. Rewarded 4
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Beautiful
I couldn't stop reading...this is a gorgeous piece that stands on it's own merit. Nothing flawed that I saw. Just beautiful
. Rewarded 4
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this is really amazing...the rhyming and beat are perfect =)
I cannot say if this is true
I do not have the right,
but I know no better spectacle
than a comet in full flight.
they really are beautiful things =) as is this poem! great work!! -
WOW LOVE THIS!!
THE UNIVERSE IS PUZZLING THATS WHY I LIKE IT IT KEEPS ME GUESSING LOVE EVERTHING ABOUT THIS EVEN HOW YOU PUT I THERE WHAT WE THINK WE KNOW -
The comet, as it swishes in the sky, is a spectacle to behold especially in a dark night. You paint such spectacle so vividly, intelligently and effortlessly. I love this poem.particularly, I admire the last stanza,'I cannot say if this is true
I do not have the right,
but I know no better spectacle
than a comet in full flight.'
It disarms you from possible probing eye of a comet-hater(which I doubt there is) and you qualify of the magnificence of the comet spectacle).
Wonderful piece. If you spot the comet, please shout that i come out of the apartment and marvel at it.
. Rewarded 8
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Wow!
I really like this!
The rhyme is pretty good, and doesn't sound too forced
Good luck in my contest!
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