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The Comet


Rampaging through the heavens
never stopping day or night,
a spectacle of a lifetime
a comet in full flight.

Faster than a cheetah
with a tail that's miles long,
bigger than a mountain
so powerful and strong.

The outer ice is melting
causing vapour from the force,
and leaves a trail behind it
as it travels on it's course.

If one should come too close to earth
the atmophere will shake,
with shockwaves reaching to the ground
causing the land to quake.

Scientists say the chemicals
in the dust they leave behind,
could have started life on earth
which resulted in mankind.

I cannot say if this is true
I do not have the right,
but I know no better spectacle
than a comet in full flight.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • No Quarter
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    nice job and excellent rhyme and flow, good job describing a comet.
    "with a tail that's miles long,"
    i think this line interrupted the flow a little, might have been better with the 'that's' removed.
    thanks for entering and good luck


  • Rhythm Child
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou for taking part
    I hope you enjoy the contest

    message me for anything
    take care

    Rhythm Child
    (Billy)


  • sora.
    August 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    haha i love a nice portion of rhyme!
    [mainly due to the fact that i suck at rhyme...>_<]
    this is great, i loved:
    "Rampaging through the heavens"
    good work!
    =]

  • ecrivain01
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Not bad ...

    if a trifle simplistic -- the rhyme, I mean.

    All in all, though, this is a fairly credible job. No gaffes here at all.

    Thanks for entering.

  • piccola silver member
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yes, I have witnessed this phenomenon and find it mesmerizing. Thinking one could be dangerous is ... well, to find danger in such beauty and such power is mind-boggling. Thank you for your entry

  • luvdrkchocolate
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have penned in here. I like poems about the universe that are kind of like thinking poems. What I mean is where you are pondering greater thoughts and ideas instead of just what's going on in your life right now. That's what I like best about humans. It's our curiousity that I think brings the best out of us, you know? I thought you did a good job with this.


  • DeGraw
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    I can see it streaming across the night sky! Wonderful rhyme and flow. As usual I can't resist reading you. And I'm never disappointed!
    Regards,
    Jennifer


  • ShaShay
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I couldn't stop reading...this is a gorgeous piece that stands on it's own merit. Nothing flawed that I saw. Just beautiful

  • limechic
    June 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is really amazing...the rhyming and beat are perfect =)

    I cannot say if this is true
    I do not have the right,
    but I know no better spectacle
    than a comet in full flight.

    they really are beautiful things =) as is this poem! great work!!


  • Kleroo
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW LOVE THIS!!
    THE UNIVERSE IS PUZZLING THATS WHY I LIKE IT IT KEEPS ME GUESSING LOVE EVERTHING ABOUT THIS EVEN HOW YOU PUT I THERE WHAT WE THINK WE KNOW

  • Lorot
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The comet, as it swishes in the sky, is a spectacle to behold especially in a dark night. You paint such spectacle so vividly, intelligently and effortlessly. I love this poem.particularly, I admire the last stanza,'I cannot say if this is true
    I do not have the right,
    but I know no better spectacle
    than a comet in full flight.'

    It disarms you from possible probing eye of a comet-hater(which I doubt there is) and you qualify of the magnificence of the comet spectacle).

    Wonderful piece. If you spot the comet, please shout that i come out of the apartment and marvel at it.


  • enitsirhC
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!
    I really like this!

    The rhyme is pretty good, and doesn't sound too forced

    Good luck in my contest!

1 - 13 of 13