for the individual
the vineyard of truth
is ready to drink
CRUSHED
by the madness of crowds
O’ see how they rush
to the edge
undaunted, unable
to befriend the man running from evil
who has become its prey
tangled in commercial free clothes
contrasting deadlines with certain doom,
upset
running through the streets
toward
y
s
n
o
m
i
and
if we go in two’s
to drink it all away
will we expect equality,
or other improbable feats,
from mankind too?
Author notes
Thanks.
A contest entry
- plight of the individual by exalted.
2000 points, ended July 19, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive Criticism
Comments
-
i liked the angle you took to the prompt. most of the other people went with an inner struggle. i totally missed what those letters mean. i can't get it- unless it's supposed to be random that people don't know what they are running toward?
my only complaint i guess is the spacing should be a little tighter. as it stands it seems more like phrases thrown into a mix. it's not necessarily bad, just might read a little easier if you took out some spaces.
but i really like the first and last stanzas. the whole poem speaks very loudly in theme... nicely done. thank you for entering,
-cassidy
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