There it is
On that concrete wall
In our secret place
Blue penned message
I visit ever so often
Something like a memorial
The love and passion we shared
I've never felt it before
Written on the day
You pleaded your feelings
I knew it would come
I remember the tears
You never had to say it
I knew it right away
That you loved me
The fusion of our names
'Hardisa'
Circled in a heart
'I love you'
written underneath
There it is
On that concrete wall
In our secret place
Blue penned message
Author notes
Option 4: Favourite place to visit
Looking back...our secret place. The message I wrote will stand the test of time...until they blow the building down. I visit there all the time...and I know she probably doesn't. I don't blame her, hopefully one day she'll visit the same time that I do.
A contest entry
- Favoritessss -prewrites allowed by BAMFNx3.
600 points, ended June 26, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What big nose you have! by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
450 points, ended June 30, 2008, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's all about love by Sound of Madness.
625 points, ended July 12, 2008, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite 1000 pt. Checklist by Ryno.
1000 points, ended July 18, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow, this is so beautiful. Thanks for entering this into my contest. My ex and I combined out names as well. Sarabran. Yeah, to me it sounds like cerial. ha ha. Great write, and I wish you much luck.
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wow i like this alot. its lovely written and my favorite part was when you said "I visit ever so often
Something like a memorial
The love and passion we shared
I've never felt it before
Written on the day
You pleaded your feelings
I knew it would come" thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
..<3..
Shelly -
great write! wow this is amazing. i know all about special places. I have one of my own, it doesn't matter anymore but its still special in part of my life
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That was touching and sweet.
Al I can say is awwww.
<3
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The sadness and subtle power behind these words took my breath away. Funny how writing scribbled on a wall, all those years ago, can bring back such memories when you again, look at the faded words. Faded through the wear and tear of time. Your imagery here was outstanding.
With
Dark
Wishes
Wayne Leon
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who knows...maybe she goes to see it too. sounds like there are some pretty good memories there. keep that place in your heart =)
i like the repetition of the first and last paragraph
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