Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

My Lips Now

Tiptoeing shadows,
Remembering my strangled heart.
You cut me open.
So I traced your lips
With my blade.
They lay in a red box;
Only I can see you smile now!






Author notes

Prompt: I caught your smile to keep in my box of forever

[permission for 1 word over...lol!!!]

A contest entry

honesty always appreciated

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • poeticweaver gold member
    June 27

    Edit | Reply

    Wow,

    Very potent for this short versed contest.
    Well done sweet soul.

    Your


  • My Solitude
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    Good one.. great to read u after so long. Sorry for not being very frequent in AP... dunno, been cut off some how.
    Love, Bob.


  • Piccola gold member
    June 22
    Edit | Reply
    grisley .... reminding me of Hannibal the cannibal lol. great take on the prompt.

  • 245Trioxin
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    I love the visual of a strangled heart, but nothing matches the one of a surgically removed smile.

    Vile in its beauty and brokeness of an item that could've kept things whole by being apart.


  • Celticpoet gold member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply

    Oh my!...a bit dark for me!

    I am a creature of light and happiness so I found this write to be dark and heavily atmospheric..however that does not detract from its quality..a good write...Dad xx


  • Meroza gold member
    June 22
    Edit | Reply
    dark and lovely! Well done and the best of luck in the contest
  • Wow - amazing.

  • Wow...talk about being angry....damn! This is way dark. Congrats to you...I see a winner. Best of luck.
    ~Kystal Angel


    • Rianna Bear silver member
      June 22
      Edit | Reply
      i just don't do lovey dovey that great these days...not really. so, best way to go...the exact other side

  • notorious silver member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    LoL, you must have read me saying I'd be impressed by turning a seemingly happy prompt into something this gruesomely dark. Kudos to you.

    Okay, I'm officially disturbed--your imagination is clearly vivid and raw, or at least it is here...!

    "Remembering my strangled heart."
    Great verb usage with 'strangled'...and unique phrasing here.

    That ending is truly creepy. Quite a movie you have here...

    Thanks for entering.

  • tainfinite silver member
    June 22
    Edit | Reply

    taiinfinite

    great words i like this very much great take good luck

1 - 11 of 11