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Thousands of Miles

I want us to be the only ones
for thousands of miles.I want your
voice to be the only other
sound I hear besides my heartbeat.

The only thing I want to feel
is your arms wrapped around me,
and your breath on my face as you
whisper you love me.

Please don't ever
leave my side, I don't
know what I'd do without
you, my love.

You're the missing note
in my music, the missing peice
in the puzzle. You
make me feel like a bird with newly
found flight. Just don't leave my
side, please love.

Author notes

Love is, above all, the gift of oneself."~Jean Anouilh

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • rinzurajan
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    wow...thats complete submission...to love...






    good luck


  • Applehead
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    Hehe I love your pleading was funny I'm also a lover of LOVE poems. Love brings about such tender emotions and vivid experiences coupled with desires and you have captured gently and passionately just how love can make you feel.

    The first stanza is my favourite as it draws you in with a magnetic pace...just lovely


  • tinuelena
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry, but the contest prompt was nature, and I don't see how this fits in. I'm going to have to DQ this poem; do feel free to enter a nature-inspired poem. Thanks


  • emc2
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautiful and emotional piece of writing. You have done well. I love how you put all the stanzas, that was perfect. Everything builds up to the last stanza never slacking. Excellent job! Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!


  • silverscent gold member
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    My most favourite part is the final stanza.

    "You're the missing note
    in my music, the missing peice
    in the puzzle. You
    make me feel like a bird with newly
    found flight..."

     

     

    The images and comparisons are very powerful and original.

    There's a typo on the second line of the final stanza though, it should be "piece."

    I will say the rest of the poem isn't quite as strong. Ideas such as "heartbeat" and " I don't know what I'd do without you" are overused. I know you can do better, you've shown you can in the final stanza.

    Thanks for entering.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    August 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A fundamental voice baring itself in the name
    of love...
    this piece grows stronger stanza by stanza with
    my favorite being your ending. I do note a small
    misspelling at piece. Thank-you for sharing, Blue


  • Endeavor gold member
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    You're the missing note
    in my music, the missing peice
    in the puzzle. You
    make me feel like a bird with newly
    found flight. Just don't leave my
    side, please love.

    I can feel you emotions in this
    So sorry it did not work out well

    Rick


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    July 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    AWWWEE this poem really really touched me, this is so beautiful, i mean this blew me away, its kinda cliche but individual in its own way, and seriously im amazed with this, thank you for putting a smile on my face with this write, my favourite stanza is this: The only thing I want to feel is your arms wrapped around me, and your breath on my face as you whisper you love me. i almost cried at that bit, never stop penning, best of luck in the contest, kitty

  • thenorthernstar
    June 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    love poetry is not really my thing normally but this is so sweet I can't help but smile good job and thanks for the entry


  • JustFallingApart
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    how very sweet, nice write and thank you for entering my contest


  • Play-A-War
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good write...

    Has a nice flow to it, all fits well.
    Well written and very sweet.

    Thanks for entering.

    Good luck in the contest


  • Sweet Chaotic Me
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'You're the missing note
    in my music, the missing piece
    in the puzzle.'
    That bit's sooo sweet, I love it. The whole poem is sweet, you obviously really care about him

    Anyways, nice write
    xox

1 - 12 of 12