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Orchid Island


August night, hair stickin'
to the back of my neck,
mosquitos buzzin'

at low tide I waded across the inlet
to his fishin' shack
water lappin' at my thighs


mystique of Samba, Santeria,
the heat of his body pulled me


seduced into his reality
where shy, hesitant
girls are transformed, by

rituals of sweat and rhythm
 
I trembled when it happened, he whispered
       
  "you like it now,
            but you'll learn to love it later"










Author notes

this is actually a prewrite, that i deleted by accident

In a list

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • liltandrhyme silver member
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliantly told tale, Deb, congrats on the well-deserved Gold!!

    PJ


  • Wolf Mancini
    June 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Whoe...

    You write very beautifully.


    wolf


  • tomisb
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Devil, temptor or man with high hopes and no chance of realization. You paid your price to get there, most of the poem chronicles that. I find it interesting that he is the one who wants to continue and you are mute on the issue. Hmmmm
    Love Tom B.


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ooohhh. Jeepers.


  • ennovy silver member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this comes under sensual memories, sweet & lust filled...thanks for entering.....novy & Brazos


  • PerVirtuous
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    And did you? I would doubt it with what you have indicated you think is a clown... hahahahaha. Good luck solving that riddle. Have three bunnies.


    • Luna Tique Fringe
      June 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      you love to torment me, don't you ?

      • PerVirtuous
        June 22, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        *OMG* What? Torment? Nah. Just ground you with a little reality now and then. You can jump over most people. I have longer arms and can pull you back down so you remember what it is like down here.


  • Brazos silver member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very romantic, and mysteriously so. From the moment the lady steps into the water to wade to his shack, her life will be changed forever, liking it now, but loving it forever.

    She has apparently been worshipping the fisherman from afar for a long time now, but at last she relents.

    Very nicely done. Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest.

    Novy & Brazos


  • Quiet places
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful!

    Such suspense in this message of intrigue! Truth be found in the simmering night with a summer breeze. Great poem Luna! Sets the mind and heart in motion. The adventure has only just begun. Don


  • HaleyMary
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write, Luna. This expressed lots of passion. I liked the way you ended it. It seemed to give the poem a dark romantic feeling to it. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.

1 - 12 of 12