My inner circle admonishes me daily.
"You always fall for mister wrong."
Of my many vices
(including chocolate, tv, and cigarettes)
underachievers are the most prominent.
I love people of the male persuasion.
But mainly the indecisive ones.
I get a thrill out of being the half
who knows what they want.
I pile up my confidence like Jenga blocks,
and once the words are configured just so,
I deliver my true feelings.
I tell the man of the moment just how i feel.
I recieve:
The nervous Smile.
A Head toss.
Some Ambiguous/Inquisitve glance.
"Oh...but, I'm in a committed relationship."
I:
-run away
-laugh
-knowingly expect every stammer
-"Oh, right, I wouldn't want you to violate any morals."
One day this will change.
Thy Jenga tower shall not tumble.
My confessions will be met by agreement,
or better yet,
passion and adventure, with tellanovella finesse.
In preparation for this,
I will light my smokes, indulge in the cacao bean,
decide if I'm more Carrie or Miranda,
and continuously profess my internal thoughts
to this week's mister ne'er do well.
A contest entry
- Romantic Fantasy by ennovy.
700 points, ended July 8, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Since poem criticisim has a stigma over it and I want to critise heaps, I've decided I'll do it through passive agression. I'll tell those whose poem I really, really -- Did I mention, really? -- that I do.
I DO yours.
I like the cheekyness and it's earnestness. I like the dialogue and bulletpoint form. It's humour and it's metaphor -- I've been thinking of hijacking it for my next pseudonym!
You've included lots of layers. I like these sort of poems. I think I write like that too, I think. Poems often seem too linear. (Not many are good at linear, averting boredom by default.) It's very dynamic. And fun!
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Great imagery and it says much; keep looking for love
.....thanks for entering.....
novy & Brazos
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There are a lot of ne'er do wells in this life, you should be busy for a while. Nice laugher, very good.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Novy & Brazos
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