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he told her they were fire, diamonds, oceans, tears, and the sky

what amazement i found
in the fascination all
five of them had with
sapphires. blue and silver
grey with tarnished afterthoughts
and beginnings. i looked
deep then, wondering if
they created some ripple effect,
calling one another up saying:                                "tell her this"

i could have never
supposed how
genuine he
was, touching
irises of fire
with his whispers.

Author notes

15 lines about
what men say about
my eyes.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Dienush
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What men say about your eyes? Hmm. Well that wasn't the prompt but it does fit my contest, so whatever I really like how vague and yet full of good description this is. especially the tell her this line, I think that's like the highlight of this poem. Very nicely done. Thanks for your entry.

    ~Diana

  • birds
    June 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    first three and a half lines were great

  • Nicole Hanna
    June 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'd kill for eyes like that! I'm so jealous.


  • Weetzie bat
    June 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wondering if
    they created some ripple effect,
    calling one another up saying: "tell her this"


    lol i love your wit.
    your imagery.
    your style.
    amazing...apparently like your eyes lol.
    ^^
    lovely write darling


  • Tinkerbell-Or-Me
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "i could have never
    supposed how
    genuine he
    was, touching
    irises of fire
    with his whispers."

    this is beautiful,
    it made me want to dance and hear beautiful things about my eyes.
    but all i ever hear,
    is that they are bronze,
    and wide.


  • zillion
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL your author's notes made me laugh. I mean- it just really went with the poem. I love the "tell her this" part, because it seems like that's what guys are always doing. Telling their friends to pass on a message.

    Very cute. And then the last stanza was beautiful. Very nice.

1 - 6 of 6