I'm slowly going in a downward spiral
but also trying to keep about my grace
the clouds dump their water upon this Earth
while salty tears stream down my face
without you, I'll one day be like the watermark on this window
slowly disappearing, then in one blink, gone without a trace
anyone have a nice title I may use for this? or any other improvments would be great!
Comments
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It connects to how mist is usually sweet...
... but not when your expression becomes the whole planet with constant rain, which isn't the place for that, it gets warped. It's like sitting a book out in a downpour. And, since you asked for a title suggestion, I was thinking of something like, "BLUR" because it seems to flow with your empathy? The first stanza embraces the search for how to turn the withered helix upwards, especially when it's not rapid so there's a bit of time. But, any falling is certainly unwelcome to the vulnerable, just at a lower speed.
I was intrigued by your metaphor in, "I'll one day be like the watermark on this window" as you want to make one last pause. Personalization of common sweltering then adds the closest feelings to yours, whereas otherwise, maybe you don't pay attention to the absorption. Sometimes, it's pretty to have a clean glass, and if there's a confliction with someone else, then maybe they see it shiny with you lost. Or, in another point of view, you are the pane, and depression has spotted you.
Thank you for entering, wrapping up a sad situation,
Daisy -
Amazing honestly this one gave me the chills! awesome job =D
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