How can I tell him?
Where should I start?
The moment he left me...
My whole world fell apart.
We've been friends forever
Maybe we were something more
Hand in hand through sorrow
Back to back through hatred
How can I tell him?
Where should I start?
The moment he left me...
My whole world fell apart.
Maybe he doesn't know
Maybe that is best
She makes him happy
She causes no stress
How can I tell him?
Where should I start?
The moment he left me...
My whole world fell apart.
I can see them together
Hand in hand as they walk
Back to back as they play
I'll just fake I'm ok
How can I tell him?
Where should I start?
The moment he left me...
My whole world fell apart.
I want to tell him
I really wish I could
That the moment we met
I began believing life was perfect
How can I tell him?
Where should I start?
The moment he left me...
My whole world fell apart.
I guess I'm pathetic
To believe he loved me
Perhaps it was wishful thinking
But none of it was true
How can I tell him?
Where should I start?
The moment he left me...
My whole world fell apart.
My jokes were covers
They were really true
Since the moment we met
I knew I could love you
How can I tell him?
Where should I start?
The moment he left me...
My whole world fell apart.
Perhaps I should hide
Perhaps I should leave
He seems to already know
He is better off without me.
Author notes
Where'd this come from? o.o
Seriously though XD
Here's the picture I chose.
Option 1 - Lost Love
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration with Options by Dancing Feather.
700 points, ended July 10, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Just comment. Mean. Nice. Just do it XD
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I know how you feel
i still feel like this sometimes towards my last ex but well i just ignore the wound as much as i can.
You are an amazing girl and don't let anyone change who you are, ever! beause i will have something to say about it and kick the person's ass who caused the wounds -
loves a pain i know that much
i definatly know where your coming from with this one
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My hell is starting to develop into something like this, only thing is that i don't have to see them, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Thank yous!
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wow, i really like this poem. i can relate to the whole thing. emotive, moving and powerful.
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Relating is good right? o.o
And thank you for your comment ^_^
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Shouts the disquieting pain of love unrequited.....I think the poem is very well constucted...flows nicely and does a great job of conveying the emotion behind the words....great poem, best of luck to you...
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Thank you ^_^
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Beautiful as usual my Roli-poli pie! I absolutely love your work! It's always so flowly, good rhythm, and an impeccable message!
Though just one small part, for nothing is perfect, but this is close as hell to it:
"I can see them together
Hand in hand as they walk
Back to back as they play
I'll just fake [that] I'm ok"
The stanza itself flows nicely, but if you remove the word 'that' from the last line, it seems to smooth it out easier to read in one breath instead of the slight pause it causes in the flow.
I LOVE how you kept repeating this line:
"How can I tell him?
Where should I start?
The moment he left me...
My whole world fell apart."
It seems to portray everything people go through in heartbreak, but in a softer subtle way. Beautiful write as usual doll! Gorgeous inside and out, just like you!
You know you don't need a man like THAT in your life when you can get the ones that will prove they care and show they need you in their lives.
love yah roli-pie, and this write is beautiful!
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Thankies Keninessnessness of the Beautiness
^_^ -
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beautifulness? o.O it's the make-up i swear xD
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Sure it is
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Eh, it happens
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Deep in thought
I think I'm going to feel this...the moment my love finds another:
"I can see them together
Hand in hand as they walk
Back to back as they play
I'll just fake that I'm ok"
I believe in our love and I still do even if the Great Wall is blocking it. I'm stubborn/determined like that. I love the way there is sort of an alternate chorus stanza. It drills the point which is great in poetry sometimes, in this case it works out great;
"How can I tell her?
Where should I start?
The moment she left me...
My whole world fell apart."
It truly did...and I will do anything do get it back to how it was even though it is an impossibility;
"I want to tell her
I really wish I could
That the moment we met
I began believing life was perfect"
She was perfect to me; and I still see her as such even though she is littered with flaws. My love is too strong and I feel it flow through me even as I write. I really like this piece and please keep writing! 9/10!
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Thank you for taking your time to read. And it means a lot what you said. ^_^
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Great write. Not too long ago something like that happened to me. Lol. Thank you for entering the contest. I wish you luck!
~Ookami~ -
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Thank you so much ^_^
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