I was younger then
full of devil may care
with dreams that "would" be!
no question about it.
I was on my way to rehearsal
for a theatre production
at an all girls school
where I tutored and
walked the stage
for two hours
as many other men
when she blindsided me
out of nowhere
~
A tiny hand
touched me
on the shoulder
and a small voice said,
"Would you like to....
(long Pause here)
...go to Prom with me."
I turned and saw
a washed out soul,
disheveled but clean,
with straggly hair
and lumpy clothes.
The female before me
was a most unattractive
young girl with little
saving grace,
save her courage and
the hope that gleamed
in her eyes like starlight
~
I've always had a soft heart
and though I knew she was
considered the schools mascot
sort of a dog,
to all the other girls
I replied cheerfully
"Sure."
Then she smiled
so brightly that
for a minute I saw
God's original blueprint
under that smudged handiwork.
~
We made small talk
about when and where
to pick her up,
and then she skipped
lightly away like
a homecoming queen
from the projects,
in a potato sack dress.
Just a vision
that struck me then
~
Soon all the more
desirable girls
knew that I was taking her
without even asking,
each knowing that I was
a soft touch,
they assumed I was being kind.
~
She never spoke to me
or came around
the week before that prom.
That night I dressed
carefully in my finest tux,
retrieving her lovely corsage
from the fridge,
then drove to her house
to pick her up,
wondering the whole way over
what we would talk about.
~
Her name was Ethel
or something close to that,
and she was clad in a long
soft, blue silk, brocade gown
with her hair
all tied up in ribbons,
and tiny highlights of makeup
on her features.
Alas there was no
total re-creation here
she looked kind of like a troll
my sister once dressed up
and put makeup on.
But I took her hand
and instructed her parents
that she would be fine
and home at twelve.
~
We walked together to the car
the ride over was very quiet.
I made small talk,
and she made smaller answers,
but she thanked me again
for taking her to the prom..
"It;s like a dream come true!" she said
~
I guess I made up my mind then
to show her a lovely time
and so we went in to face
a room full of stares,
and some snickers covered
under fine manicured hands.
But I walked on by
like my date was a goddess.
~
The song playing was
"Devil in a blue dress."
and I thought
that was quite peachy.
We danced only the slow songs.
"She was not adept at fast ones,"
she'd told me and
I only had ten or twelve
with her because...
so many of the
prettiest girls
knowing my act of kindness,
asked her if they
could borrow me
for a dance and she
just smiled and nodded,
beaming with pride at
making such a good choice.
~
By the nights end
I had whirled her
around and around that floor,
her eyes gazing into mine,
or her head on my shoulder.
~
At one point
in a moment of inspiration
and curiosity
at her reaction,
I even thought of an old
sexual encounter
with another girl,
and during the second dance
she actually felt me
pressing hard,
against her softness.
She kind of let out
a gasp of air,
looked me straight
in the eyes,
smiled gently
and held me tighter...
~
After spending three hours
just dancing and sitting together
sipping punch
the prom was over.
We got into my car
and she moved over
close to me as we drove home.
I put my arm around her
and told her that
I really enjoyed myself.
She said likewise
and a tear hung balanced
on the edge of
her lower lashes.
It soon fell to stain
my trouser leg
and I felt the warmth
of her grief
~
I suppose if I were
less of a man
I could have done
anything to her.
She probably would
have let me,
we both knew what
other prom dates were doing.
But soon enough
we were in front of her house,
where I was torn
by the puzzle of whether,
I should kiss her or not.
~
I took her hand
and thanked her again,
and then gave her
shoulder a squeeze.
She got real sad
and scooted out of the car,
waving goodbye
as she turned away.
~
To this day I wish
I had just closed my eyes
and given her
a passionate kiss.
One to take her breath away
that she could cling to in,
all of the lonely years ahead,
but we never spoke again and
the moment was lost
forever that night.
~
I sometimes wonder about her
especially when I hear
the song about "Eleanor Rigby"
with it's "All the lonely people.." chorus.
~
I was an actor playing my role
my duty and my beast of burden.
The script did not
call for a kiss
but I could have ad-libbed it.
~
I hope she found happiness
and has a house full of babies
and some big homely guy to love her
who looks like a God to her...
I simply pray her dreams came true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Artis
A contest entry
- Prom??? by Beverlique.
430 points, ended July 14, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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this was stunning. having felt like this innumerable times before (i befriend the friendless) i really kinda... connected, with the narrator. lovely write.
-
I have to admit, in the first few stanzas, it seemed so cliche - ugly girl, gorgeous guy, a chance to prover her worth to the world. But there are so many touches throughout this poem that make it seem like a memoire, or at least something that actually happened...weird as it is, I like the mentions of sexuality, just because it's such a huge part of life, and it takes away from the perfection...the sense of regret at the end really gives the speaker a personality. Great work.
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Beautiful
Ahh memories of the Prom. A wonderful write, one that took me back to those days.
-
That was lovely.
-
wow this was really amazing....
i...im speachless...
at first i thought with the way this started that this was just going to be some biginners poet kinda poem. but the esence of the entire story behind the words was truly amazing xD
-
what a delight this is
your story is a perfect example of giving without asking a thing in return.
stories like this shine with hope and human goodness
-
This is really beautiful. I love it It is so, true. I think the kiss would have made it superficial. too Perfect to be honest.
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This was beautiful. Left me with a warm feeling, and a little regret at the end - the kiss would have made it perfect. But then, life isn't is it?
I'm sure her evening still holds a special place in her heart. And he made it that way.
Totally enthralling.
-
I really liked the story however cliched it sounds and yes, maybe she now has a smile on her face when she remembers her awkward prom night!
Your simple words make this write even better, if that's possible!
There really isn't a line that I could call my favourite, they are all just perfect, they come together splendidly, blending into one another seamlessly! Great write, and once again a sweet story!
-
this is absolutely beautiful...i love the story; have tears in my eyes now. soft-hearted...
To this day I wish
I had just closed my eyes
and given her
a passionate kiss.
One to take her breath away
that she could cling to in,
all of the lonely years ahead,
but we never spoke again and
the moment was lost
forever that night.
made her night the best one of her life. we need more guys like you in the world...truly kind
i loved this write...great work!!
-
You took my breath away....
wow...I'm speechless....this is amazing....beautiful story/poem and beautifully written. I loved every word. I love it! -
Good Write
You have the same problem as do I at times: it takes a long write to say what I want to make sure the reader understands. Not a bad thing, if it holds the attention which this one did very well. Good story and good write.
. Rewarded 4
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wow! that was cool.
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Superb my friend!
Keep it up and never let go.
Wonderful wheels are turning and you are the energy they produce!!!
Great poem.
wolf
. Rewarded 4
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Lovely story well told
-
wonderful kindness
You've crafted a lovely, touching and enthralling story of kindness that felt like reality. What wonderful feat of kindness the story talked it feels like it should be a song played on one of those romanic love stations or Deliea or something well done my friend. Image and Visions
. Rewarded 6
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Something very real about this poem makes it compelling and heartening. I like the way you didn't make up a tale of the ugly duckling suddenly becoming a swan, or some other pretentious nonsense and kept to the straight on the poem.
. Rewarded 4
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Oh my! This had me spellbound throughout. What a precious story you have shared here. It doesn't take a lot out of our lives to show a little kindness to another and the fact that there may have been sniggers from others will never adversely affect our lives, because these are the people who just come and go briefly. I am sure that your beautiful act remained with this girl throughout her life.
All the best with this
Gaylene
. Rewarded 8
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'my duty and my beast of burden...';
love the story alot and may GOd bless you always for being kind to the 'needy'
succcess in your contest too
. Rewarded 4
-
Goodness..goodness..goodness..
this was such a capturing story...lovely, and touching,
and you kept it very....real...
Dear Poet, this is truly one of your very best!
I'm sure we were all touched by it..and yes,
duckling's always turn into lovely swans....
because it is their destiny...and you gave her a HIGH
Bar to compare all others too!
That was a lovely, lovely touching story!
ears/Seattle
. Rewarded 6
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I really loved this. I was kinda iffy on it at first but reading along I actully really liked it...
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I'm Adding You to My Favorites, Artis
At first I was quite skeptical about the craft of this poem. I was looking for errors and lapses in poetic devices that could detract from this poem's story. Now, I rarely have anything good to say about a poem, but this poem quickly turned-off the cynic switch in my mind: I was enveloped in the empathic story. Not to be confused with the overly saccharine or clichéd melodrama of patronizing condescension, the speaker in this poem has been unwittingly wounded by the subject of this poem, left with more depth than he had bargained for. Anyone who reads this poem will be more than touched-- they will be changed: reevaluating their purpose and meaning in the machine called existence.
. Rewarded 8
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Superb
A very fine write indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme were just fine. A chivalrious action indeed. I hope she found her dreams. -
Fantastic write! A little long but well worth the read, I was hooked until the end. Your writing style is simply flawless. Wonderful poem, keep writing, and thanks for sharing this, im glad i clicked it. ^_^
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sigh...I'm so glad we only have to go through the teen years once!
-
Incredible
The inner beauty that was found in this girl even though she wasn't seen as pretty at all. Such a story that has been told very nicely. You never know someone until you know someone on the inside. And I guess we all live that life of...'in the moment' and 'I wish'. Life is ironic like that.
"I was an actor playing my role
my duty and my beast of burden.
The script did not
call for a kiss
but I could have ad-libbed it."
Great ending; an actor in this play. So wonderful, you played your part but wish you could have altered the script. If I am an actor in my life, I've edited the script a hundred times over and still can't get it right. One of the more creative pieces; 8/10!
. Rewarded 8
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Is This True?
Cause if it is I think you should look her up and find out how her life turned out. But the poem is awesome and sooooo sad. I cant help but think that maybe back then she was a ugly duckling and now she's a beautiful swan. Great job, i was interested through out the entire poem. Good job.
. Rewarded 6
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ohhh this is so sadddd.
and just so gorgeous.
I would suggest punctuating the last word of the first line with a comma, and in the 12th stanza from the bottom, the last line, you have a semicolon instead of an apostrophe.
But its such a wonderfully written poem and just so... breatakingly amazing.
. Rewarded 6
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wow...
this is amazing.... so beautiful and sad.... usually, whenever a write is very long, i don't take the time to read it *blushes* but this, this is too captivating, too vivid, to pass up. the story you tell here is so wonderful, and after i finish writing this comment, i am going to read this poem again. thank you for writing this, for if you didn't, i wouldn't have had the absolute pleasure of reading it, of course! and that, my friend, would have been very disappointing, indeed =D have a wonderful day, or evening, or night, or... just have a wonderful time!
. Rewarded 8
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Adorable
AWWWW!!That is so cute and sweet.Beautiful meanings.
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Really long, but, surprisingly, it doesn't take away from the overall message and flow of the poem.
Very well done
Good luck in your contest!
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