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Touch me there

I feel it come over me
a tingling at the top
working its way down softly
pleasure just wont stop
shaking all over
sweet tremors from within
a delicious explosion
drawing in the saint to sin
give it to me hard an dark
softly near and far
all of this and more
from just one chokolate bar

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Midniterose
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    Hey wiat i've read and commented on this before... oh well. lol


    • Darkwell
      July 16
      Edit | Reply
      thanxu i totally want chokolate now, i have michael cluizel wafers but if i eat one im gonna want more

      Liz


  • Midniterose
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    That's great =D Again, clever, decieving, and so true. Actually makes me crave chocolate.... Hmmm..... I think i'll go make cookies....lol You are an excellent poet darkwell! I commend you! ^.^


  • Slick99
    August 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    cool poem!!! good luck in the contest!!!


  • Foodahalic
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!!! What a suprise at the end...from just one chokolate bar. that was a perfect misderection.

    I loved when you said "drawing in the saint to sin"

    great write

    -thanks for entering

  • Judith Chandler
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Surprise!

    "drawing in the saint to sin". What a good line.

  • piccola silver member
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. I wrote something similar called How Many Licks and it's about a tootsie roll pop it too has a surprise ending. Very nice


  • tarcus
    July 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You obviously prefer a flake in bed.


  • BehindTheShadow
    July 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great Poem!


  • BrokenSanity
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ha! the ending re assured me as not to worried about u, writer, love it. especially the last line! lol.

  • Hovels 2
    June 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You tricked me again. You were actually talking about chocolate! =l


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow yes this is just wonderful! I love the way you built this sensual piece, all about that lusious choklat bar! Excellent imagery!
    All the best with this
    Gaylene


  • unreachablecloud
    June 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is so good! i really like it, and the ending is amazing!


  • Midniterose
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    LOL!

    This is clever! I love it! Hey, if you want to check out something really funny, look up 10 Reasons Why Chocolate is Better than Sex. It's a bit dirty, but it's funny and true. Keep with the awesome poetry!

1 - 14 of 14