I feel it come over me
a tingling at the top
working its way down softly
pleasure just wont stop
shaking all over
sweet tremors from within
a delicious explosion
drawing in the saint to sin
give it to me hard an dark
softly near and far
all of this and more
from just one chokolate bar
A contest entry
- ONE OR TWO OR THREE FOR THE LADIES(extended edition :) ) by tarcus.
555 points, ended July 10, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Short that rhymes by piccola.
600 points, ended August 14, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Hey wiat i've read and commented on this before... oh well. lol
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thanxu
i totally want chokolate now, i have michael cluizel wafers but if i eat one im gonna want more 
Liz
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That's great =D Again, clever, decieving, and so true. Actually makes me crave chocolate.... Hmmm..... I think i'll go make cookies....lol You are an excellent poet darkwell! I commend you! ^.^
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cool poem!!! good luck in the contest!!!
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WOW!!!! What a suprise at the end...from just one chokolate bar. that was a perfect misderection.
I loved when you said "drawing in the saint to sin"
great write
-thanks for entering -
Surprise!
"drawing in the saint to sin". What a good line.
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I love it. I wrote something similar called How Many Licks and it's about a tootsie roll pop
it too has a surprise ending. Very nice
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You obviously prefer a flake in bed.
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Great Poem!


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Ha! the ending re assured me as not to worried about u, writer, love it. especially the last line! lol.


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You tricked me again. You were actually talking about chocolate! =l


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Oh wow yes this is just wonderful! I love the way you built this sensual piece, all about that lusious choklat bar! Excellent imagery!
All the best with this
Gaylene


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this is so good! i really like it, and the ending is amazing!
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LOL!
This is clever! I love it! Hey, if you want to check out something really funny, look up 10 Reasons Why Chocolate is Better than Sex. It's a bit dirty, but it's funny and true. Keep with the awesome poetry!

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