My time with you last forever.
The gentle kisses,
The caress of your loving hands,
I must stop.
My love for you,
ah, it is more vast than space,
longer than time.
I must stop.
I leave as to cause you no harm
I cannot live with you,
I cannot live with out you.
I must stop.
You are too innocent to see the monster inside,
the raging demon,
many years under its belt.
I must stop.
You cannot be with me,
I will hurt you!
Please, do not cry...
I must stop.
I wish you the best,
The beat of your heart,
it calls me back.
I must stop.
Sadly,
I crawl back.
crimson water calls to me.
I must stop.
Darkness overwhelms,
I fall victim to the demon.
It claws at my mind.
I will stop!
As your body falls limp
and the last breath is breathed,
I whisper one word,
"Sorry..."
Author notes
I hope you like it! ^_^
A contest entry
- Twilight by Jfd.
600 points, ended June 26, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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amazing
totaly love it. this poem totally makes my heart race as i read it.
nice work -
I think this is a nice effort....but i felt some of your comparisons and imagery was a little cliche and overdone like "My love for you,
ah, it is more vast than space,
longer than time." or "I cannot live with you,
I cannot live with out you."
I think if this piece was reworked it could develop your wonderful ideas into a fine tuned poem. thanks for taking the time to enter! -
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Thanks!
The only reason I included the "I cannot live with" Quote is because it is from Ovid...
"So I can't live either without you or with you."
Ovid, Amores
-Roman poet (43 BC - 17 AD)
but that besides, I'll do my best to make it better...thanks.
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gorgeous. totally vamp. i totally love it.
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