drooping eyes sought skies
specked bright with wishful thinking
as lullabies fade
In a list
A contest entry
- Haiku III by Kelli Marie.
2250 points, ended June 27, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Options by poets whisper.
1200 points, ended December 11, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow, this is such a cute piece. I like the way "eyes" and "skies" rhyme and also the great alliteration in the first and second line. I can just see the little children sitting in bed trying to convince their parents to let them stay awake
I also like the reference to "wishful thinking" as the stars that speckle the sky. Beautiful. Good luck in the contests.
C J
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This is the Neatest haiku I have ever read. Most of them I just dont get but yours is too cool. Great job with this, I personally think haiku is difficult to master.
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Thank you so much. I agree they are tricky, I think that I have only ever written three.
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I think this is a cute haiku, nicely written. The capital in the first line is really a no no thought; easily fixed. Also, shouldn't have the period at the end. Thank you for entering the contest.
Kelli
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