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Sparkle



The sparkle I saw
And thought that was from a star
Came from your blue eyes.




Author notes

Author: chrstn

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Kelli Marie
    June 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice piece. Haiku are not supposed to be written in past tense, and have a period at the end. Since you have capitalized each line, it is alright, but they are normally lower case. Thank you for entering the contest.
    Kelli

    P.S. For future help...
    http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2340132

  • Bad Bill
    June 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the concept and flow of this, although I'm not so keen on the word "that", as used in the middle line.
    Not sure how else you could have worded it, however.

    Best of luck,
    Bill


  • sheltered
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A haiku
    tailored to the taste
    of Frank Sinatra

    Excellent. Great flow.


  • McRae by nature
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Twinkling eyes, this is beautiful.

    Carrie

  • Bob Fox
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Simple

    Simple and delightful. And oh those blue eyes. Don't you just love history?

1 - 5 of 5