My hands started shaking.
It was happening again.
Not the fear, but the fight.
Nothing physical - not yet.
I couldn't run into my room this time
Couldn't hide on the side of my bed
Where it was safe
Where I was safe.
No - Not this time.
I was trapped in the middle.
Me against mom.
Step-dad against me.
There was no reason for this.
No reason for him to be here,
And I wanted him to leave.
The fight?
It was stupid.
Something about my
tone of voice to my mom.
My step-dad?
I somehow found the guts to tell him
to BUTT OUT.
This was my fight.
Not his.
I had forgotten that I couldn't
Stand up in this house -
Against him.
Chasing me down the hall
and up the steps,
I ran into my room.
My room.
My safe place.
He wouldn't stop though.
Door slammed open as I fell to the floor.
He didn't stop there either.
No, the yelling wasn't enough.
Before I knew it, I was backed up against a wall.
Feet no longer touching ground.
Feelings no longer anywhere around.
He threw me then. Onto the bed,
But I rolled off to miss his punch.
I couldn't get away fast enough,
there was now his hand around me throat.
Unable to breathe,
I was kicking and hitting,
and watching my mom at the door
watching and listening.
Eventually the war was done.
Bruises. Pain. Hurt.
Still there.
They left the house,
and I took my chance.
First suicide (I didn't know what else to do)
But then finally I just ran away.
To my boyfriend's house -
I ran away.
His mom wouldn't take me in though
And instead coaxed me to go to the Hospital.
There I told them about the fight.
How scared I was,
I begged them not to let me go home that night.
But I was only 17.
They called my mom by law.
20 minutes later
I was picked up
by my mother and step-dad.
My words were silenced.
There was no way out.
This is how I would live my life forever,
no way... no out.
Author notes
A fight that happened like a year or so ago... probably longer... There have been worse fights... but this is one of the few that I could actually write about.
A contest entry
- Domestic Violence Awareness/Education--Now With A Second Option by Viyanna Rosemarie.
1250 points, ended September 21, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abused??? Let it known! Scream it out, tell the world about it. by starving-to-survive.
1700 points, ended February 3, 99 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Aww hun, i am so so sorry that you have had to whitness and be in the centre of such horror. Your words really touched me, brought a tear to my eye and a shiver down my spine. I know how it feels to be ignored, to be shut up and not believed....to not be helped or saved when needed the most.
Thank you for entering my contest, if you ever need to talk i am here -
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Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me! I'm here if you ever need to talk too
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Powerful...powerful write!!
Your words haunt, like an endless fall. the horror of it all,...,..to share with others,..that they know they are not alone. People in distress need to know they are not alone! Your poem is a powerful testament to this reality! Bless you for being able to write about it! And may angels guard over you until you can be safe!! HUgs, Grace -
That bastard deserves to be in jail! This angers me so much. I feel for you.
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oh wow ... this left me speechless. Please tell me that you got away...
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I will... soon.
Move in day for college is august 31st
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thats just wrong sweety
when do you turn 18? have you left
i wory abiut you
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I turned 18 in February. I will leave in two months and then I will only be back on holidays and vacations. Can't wait!
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this would make a good story
UGh!! is he really liek that...??
My dad is freaking liek that...always involving himself and just making things worse. I hate men, I dont think they should be allowed to live with the more perfect gender((uss))
But lol in all seriosoness... at least you can leave this year right? Im really sorry you have to live with that tho...i can relate..
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It's my step-dad.... of course he's not like that all the time.. but he can get like that... yeah...
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well yeah that would be kind of hard for a peson to do theyd get a heart attack or something
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First of all i'd like to say that i think it is incredibly brave that you have written this into the contest to raise awarness for others to see what can actually happen.
I know the feeling of standing up to the bully. You take so much and the words come out, for me my words were, " I'm not afraid of you no more." It was directed towards my mother and tehn i got abeaten for it.
But after the beating, I didn't feel incredibly brave anymore. I went to my dad at work, but he didnt believe me. I connot believe that the hospital would not help you out.
You should get yourself a social worker and get them to get you out of the care of your mum and step-dad especially if there are any other children in the house.
It is hard and a lot of people do not want to put their neck out to help you just like your boyfriends mum. But the social workers or your school will definately help you.
Keep smiling and don't let teh bullies get you down. My mum and I get on amazingly now.
It may take a while but social workers seem like terrible people but they are amazing and did wonders in our household
lisa...xxx
great write
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Thank you for your comment and sharing your story with me. I have suggested to my mom many times that we go to family therapy, but she said straight out that we don't need it. I am the only one in therapy. She is a psychologist. Go figure :-\
Thank you,
Alex -
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No problem about the comment ill share you a private message now dearest!
...xxx
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While it is true that we are all not as strong as we would like to be, it is possible to at least placate our hurts with education, and the realization that; we are not alone in our pain. I too was abused as a child my dear, and in more ways than one.
A truly heartfelt penning...
Love and peace always,
mj.
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i would like to thank you for your entry into this contest. can i get you to add your author name to your notes as i forgot to put this in the rules but am adding it right now? i wish you well in this contest and hope that you find a way to get the help that you need. viyanna rosemarie
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do you want my actual name or my AP name?
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author name
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awww, *hugs* i know its hard, but rember i love you, and alot of people care about you, great write, and take care cusie
stephanie
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