Poetry happens to the best of people
like the woman who slips during a rain shower,
lands in a puddle and
ruins her shoes
while down, she observes
a snail, his spiral shell
what wouldn't have been seen
had she not fallen
and after limping home,
getting dry, with a cup of soup
she now has the adrenarche of a poem to work on for the night
as one thing leads to another in myriad subtle directions
like puissance of a star;
and the poem goes on forever through present, future and past
as the mind with the pen tries to navigate.
Sometimes you feel something stuck to your sole.
Author notes
this poem won silver
"I want to win"
A contest entry
- when poetry happens by Dienush.
1250 points, ended July 13, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES THAT HAVE WON BRONZE OR SILVER ONLY by liquidmindforever.
400 points, ended May 31, 99 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ROUND II PREWRITES FOR BRONZE & SILVER TROPHY FINALISTS ONLY by liquidmindforever.
500 points, ended June 14, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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RULES
Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering ROUND II for PREWRITES FINALISTS
however, please return to the rules. There, take note.
You've missed following one of them
After you've complied, please IM with title AND
Name of Contest.
till then
best wishes
and stay
liquid -
RUles
Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering my contest: PREWRITES
FOR BRONZE & SILVER TROPHY WINNERS, ONLY
Please return to the rules: You have missed both of them.
Once you have complied, please either place
"edited" by your title or notify me.
When you've done so, I'll be pleased
to read your entry
Until then,
Best wishes,
liquid -
I really like this. The concrete imagery, the day-to-day life presented... I also find the title to be very interesting, connected to the poem it speaks volumes... since constellations are something celestial and that suggests day-to-day things can be just as grand in their own way. This part:
"she now has the adrenarche of a poem to work on for the night
as one thing leads to another in myriad subtle directions
like puissance of a star;
and the poem goes on forever through present, future and past
as the mind with the pen tries to navigate."
felt rather unnecessary for me, though I like its phrasing. I just feel the rest of the poem is so beautiful and strong that this slip into an astral/artistic plane is unneeded and weaker. Thank you for your entry
~Diana
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Thank you very much for the trophy, Diana. I enjoyed the contest.
Have a great week
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Lol i like the part where you talk about how when she falls she sees somthing she wouldnt have noticed unless she fell. Alot of things happen that way. We almost miss some very importent things. Awesome poem keep up the good work ~ Brook
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Have a great weekend
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very impressive my friend.
a very deep write.
pulling out our experiences,
our surrounding, and our feeling.
trying to navigate is the best part for me.
excellent my friend.
God bless...
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