I feel the stares as I walk through
Embarrassed, ashamed; my time is due
Hands in pockets, chin tucked down
Hide my face from all the frowns
Invisible is what I wish to be
Can I fade, just to a small degree?
I want to wake up from this nightmare
Please, please just stop the stares
My eyes glue themselves to the floor
As I quickly make my way to the door
I push my way through the crowd
Tears fall; I am not proud
I can’t run, I can’t hide
Everywhere I go, I’m being eyed
Sit down, curl up, squeeze close my eyes
The walls, they judge; they see my lies.
Author notes
"You can run, but you can't hide"
AN: Limechic
I've been feeling guilty lately about a situation with my best friend where I lied. It seems everyone judges me and I can't get away from it...even the walls judge me. I don't have much experience with rhyming, so I thought I'd try it out - something simple for starters.
A contest entry
- What big nose you have! by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
450 points, ended June 30, 2008, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Craze Contest by BlackSwan.
550 points, ended June 29, 2008, 84 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lying and Truth by BellaD.
450 points, ended June 30, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To Start Things Off... by Simply Simple.
300 points, ended July 2, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POINTS- Easy Entries by NickelleteXninja.
600 points, ended July 8, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'll never tell... by xxRainbowDawnxx.
525 points, ended July 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1708 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes....Or Does It? by lowercase prelude.
1500 points, ended July 8, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever You May Desire by InMyFlames.
600 points, ended July 9, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's All About the Rhyme by BlackSwan.
600 points, ended July 27, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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good rhyming, i like the simplicity of your work it made it easy to read with flow well done and thanks for entering
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There's a quote that says the guilty are always on the lookout and it's very true, we all expect everyone knows what we have done/not done.
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I think yo did a very well done job with rhyming
it didnt seem to skip a beat
thanks for entering
and I know how this feels
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I love the honesty and the emotional conviction here. I do have one question. Do you normally write free verse? I was just wondering. Anyway, thanks for entering. I like this one a lot.
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Your poem captures the feelings of remorse quite well. I love the honesty of this piece. Your rhyme seems natural--nothing seems forced. Well done and thank you for entering my contest.
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Excellent piece!
-GL in contest -
thought provoking
it's open and yet concealing at the same time.
this takes me to a visualization of a dark, damp corridor that you have to go through, all the while being completely self-aware. we all know how painful and shameful that can be, when you have wronged someone and it you are illuminated to the world as a walking indictment of your actions.
great write!
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Well for starters, you have done very good.
I enjoyed this piece very much.
We all lie at one time or another.
But when you realize what you have done,
and you are sorry from the core of your
heart, then all should be forgiving. We
all make mistakes, you feel bad and you are
sorry, you need to forgive your self and
move on. No More Lies !!!
Great poetry you have here.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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that was awesome
ya know i realy liked it i just dont know what to say but this is great for a starter -
Great!
I loved this piece because I have often felt this way, maybe not for the same reasons as yourself, but felt these same emotions nonetheless. I think you conveyed your intentions quite well and you did a wonderful job with the rhyming. poetic art. Thank you for sharing. ~mandie~ -
Great job!
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This is amazing. True? Yes, i have been guilty of telling lies and the walls do judge. A teriffic poem with rhyme and meter pretty good.
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Lovers it..
i like this alot. and lieing is bad
this is very well written. thanks for enterinh my contest i wish you the best of luck.
..<3..
Shelly -
simple, yet quite profound. the way you've penned this, it leaves it open for interpretation by the reader. a great write
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I love this
Rhyming is not always everything,
I like the emotion you put into this.
It stands out in my eyes...
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Simple
I know you have little experience with rhyme...but the message in here is nice...sort of like..."leave me alone world...don't watch me". It's a great poem for the fact that the reader has no idea what possibly set up this judgement that people have for you. The rhymes you did use worked out well:
"Invisible is what I wish to be
Can I fade, just to a small degree?"
"I can’t run, I can’t hide
Everywhere I go, I’m being eyed
Sit down, curl up, squeeze close my eyes
The walls, they judge; they see my lies."
Powerful...very powerful. I like the way you used the rhyming in this one...not too many lines, just right to get the point across. Hopefully you don't feel this way; as no one generally is judging your lies...but it is probably coming from within; the soul and guilt. It seems like everyone is watching and listening; I know the feeling. Keep writing, 7.5/10!
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